Were They Alive Or Were they Fly?

She was told he walked into the ocean, yet she became the one who drowned for the rest of her life.

Are we alive or are we fly? is an exploration of loss, uncertainty, and the quiet resilience of women who lived through China's Cultural Revolution.

During a time of political and social upheaval, individual lives could become as small and insignificant as a fly on the wall. Easily overlooked, forgotten, or lost within the larger forces of history. Yet behind each life was a story, often left untold.

The project begins with the mysterious death of my grandfather. My grandmother was told he had walked into the ocean, but the truth of his death remains unknown. She was left to live with the grief of losing her husband, the uncertainty of never knowing what truly happened, and the responsibility of carrying on with her family.

She was told he walked into the ocean, yet she became the one who drowned for the rest of her life.

Through family archives, personal photographs, and symbolic imagery, I attempt to imagine her experience and trace how one person's absence has quietly shaped our family across generations. It reflects on the lives of women who, despite their own sorrow and unanswered questions, were expected to move forward, carry on, and to smile.

The collection questions what it means to be alive when so much of life is beyond our control. It is about living with the unknown, the weight of history, and the fragile space between surviving and truly living.

As someone from a later generation, I am left wondering how we carry a history we never experienced, and how we move forward with questions that may never have answers.