I want to disappear - approaching eating disorders

Eating Disorders are not just about food or the desire to be thin, and they are much more widespread than commonly assumed. This partly autobiographical project sheds light on the deeper roots on phenomena such as Anorexia, Bulimia and Binge Eating.

Worldwide, up to 70 million individuals suffer from an Eating Disoder such as Anorexia, Bulimia or Binge Eating. Affected persons are of all genders, appearances and ages; however, research confirms that it is young women and girls in industrialized nations who are at the highest risk of being affected.

One out of ten women, so the current hypothesis, will experience an eating disorder at least once in their lifetime. Nevertheless, the sources and effects of this illness are still highly stigmatized, discreeted and excluded from societal discourse.In I want to disappear, 20 young women intimately share their testimonies with the viewer.

What does it feel liketo be affected? How is this conflict linked to one’s own (sexual) identiy, and why does controlling one’s body help someone to feel “better”, even just for a short time?

Altogether they provide a surprising and confrontative insight into the personal conflicts, ruptures and insecurities which lie at the root of this disease. Very soon, a new perspective is revealed: eating disorders are never a sign of weakness. And one is by no means alone with it.