fragments of being

“Fragments of being” is a photographic work by Vanessa Fengler that deals with the need for connection with one‘s self and their surroundings.

find me, searching  

for a tiny crack 

in these giant, ancient walls, to climb into  

or build a home 

like other creatures of this world do.  

If I belong here 

if I am a part of nature, 

how come I feel so alien, so strangely unfitting 

at the mercy of the elements?  

My people shoved me into hell so many times- 

now I choose to jump 

into the fire in the earth's core  

without burning,  

secretly hoping to fill my own hollows 

with passion again.  

Countless lonely cold nights left 

frozen handprints on my soul- 

now I dive in icy mountain waters, crystal clear  

without congealing, 

faintly wishing to shake awake my mind there,  

resurfacing to breathe free again.  

I left everything I ever knew behind  

to arrive at your entrance:  

Let me in   

let me be a part of you, 

mysterious maternal matter. 

Do you still recognise me as your own?  

Give me shelter,  

provide me with tender loving care 

and teach me 

your art of living 

until I remember  

how to be at home here,  

like other creatures of this world are 

until I feel at home  

in myself, too.  

When we feel disconnected from ourselves, our surroundings, people, nature,  

tired of the repetitive dullness of our daily life, our illusion of security,  

when our knowledge about the art of living, about who we are and what we want seems inapplicable- 

When everything seems frozen in time, our bones heavy and rusty; when we hunger after inspiration, passion, novelty, yet also crave peace, belonging, connection-  

When all our human needs overwhelm us with indissolubility, where do we go for orientation?  

When the familiar feels alienated, how can we find what we are searching for, without having a name for it?   

To grasp existence in this world, I followed my life wires down to their deepest roots, expecting nothing but an abyss of utter loneliness and darkness there.  

I discovered colourful points of interconnectedness instead. 

“Fragments of being” is a photographic work by Vanessa Fengler that deals with the need for connection with one‘s self and their surroundings.