Beyond the curve

All my life I felt good in my skin, despite the well-intentioned, but hurtful criticism from others. This year, after turning 30 but before I got married, I decided to slowly, gradually change my lifestyle, which made me happier, and more acceptable towards my own body.

All my life I tried to feel good in my skin, because this is how I always was, this was my shape. But there are always people around, who make this difficult, usually people closer to me. I had a boyfriend who forced me to stand on the scale, to check if I gained weight, so maybe I could start dieting to prevent anything bad happening. I was asked before my wedding if I really need bridesmaids, because how will I look on the photos standing next to my slim girlfriends. In white, which makes you look fatter. These people meant well.

My campaigns in dieting were temporarily successful, but I always gave up, and fell off the other end, which made me feel guilty.

Two significant events happened in my life this year. I turned 30 and I got married. The wedding brings out a lot from people. Some turn into bridezillas, some start some crazy diet. I didn’t want any of those, but I knew, that I was curvier than usual. I didn’t like myself. I have decided to try something I never had the patience for: slowly, gradually changing my lifestyle. I promised myself I won’t be impatient, I won’t force myself to lose 20 kilos in two months, and I’ll leave time for myself.

I am lucky, because I have found a true partner. He won’t force me on the scale, he will never insult me, while only meaning well and giving me courage. My self-confidence grew greatly since I’m with him.

I have started changing my lifestyle for myself, and I learned not to compare myself to others. I have changed a lot, I’m happy about improving my health, and I don’t feel guilty when I sometimes go off-diet. I haven’t become a top model, I’ll never be one, but I’m fine with it. I like my big behind and my belly.