2 Marys

2 Mary's is an exploration of Christian hypocrisies. Using Freud's Madonna-Whore theory, I observed the ways misogyny and sexuality presents itself in religious iconography. I examined how this iconography presents itself in the contemporary day to day.

Two Marys

I’ve grown up removed from religion my entire life. Both of my parents were raised Catholic, but they knew they didn’t want to instill religious beliefs into their children. To appease my grandparents, my older sister and I were baptized and made our communion, but there was no pressure on us to go further in our religious journeys.

Christianity has always made me uncomfortable. That discomfort repelled me from the church like opposing sides of magnets. I never had to think about religion much. Then I started dating my girlfriend. 

Ellis could not have been raised more differently than me. From a very young age religion has been forced upon her. Sometimes as gently as a conversation, and other times as aggressively as being stonewalled by her family. Her religious trauma is her story to tell, but my own observations and contemplations of Christianity have become more frequent because of my connection to Ellis. 

Three weeks before I left for Rome, her mother learned of our relationship. In a desperate attempt to find more information on me, she found my portfolio, my instagram accounts, and my parents facebook pages. My photography often depicts women engaging in sexual acts, and this unsettled her much further. While I wasn’t a fly on the wall for the conversation, it is easy to imagine the sort of things that were said about our relationship, and my character. 

Luckily, they never threatened Ellis or me, but the resentment from her parents affects us both. 

I have such a visceral reaction to Christianity because I feel forced to understand. I want to understand it better to in turn understand Ellis better; but I hate the way Christians talk, I hate how self indulgent the religion is, I hate how senseless, controlling and random it all feels. Yet it is everywhere. People submit their entire lives to following a religion. Why is that? There are many obvious answers, but none that satisfy me. 

Now I’m in Rome, surrounded by incredibly sexual religious iconography, pious women, hedonistic women, aggressive men; there are just so many contradictions and juxtapositions present. The entire city feels charged with sex and judgment at every corner you turn. 

Christianity itself is contradicting. There are no interpretations of Christianity that are free from misogyny. Many Christian ideologies were shaped by Aristotle, a sexist and racist man. In Genesis, the snake tempts Eve to eat the apple, and Adam eats it knowing full well that he was committing a sin. Yet, Eve and Adam are punished equally. Yet, Eve is accredited with destroying the Garden of Eden. Eve was either tempted by the snake because women are believed to be feeble and unthinking, or because women are cunning and sexual. 

This would later help form Freud’s Madonna-Whore theory. 

The Madonna-Whore theory details that men have to throw women into one of two categories, the Madonna, who he loves and respects, and the whore, who he is sexually attracted to and consequently disrespects. The name of this theory comes from the virgin Mary being the Madonna, and Mary Magdalene being the whore. Two Marys.

In this body of work, I want to explore the ways misogyny affects women in a foreign place. The way the male gaze and sexuality work together and against each other. Contemplate if we are ever truly free from the male gaze in our femininity and in gay sexualities. A study and reconstruction of religious iconography. A depiction of a-religious, and at times scandalous, rituals. 

Through shooting this project, I followed a trajectory of seeking displays of sexual intensity that faded into a more contemplative longing for Ellis. This shift in my energy is reflected in the photographs by means of more subtle, lush colors and gentler imagery. 

The photograph of legs bobbing underneath the water is connected to Mary Magdalene tending to Jesus’ feet. Whenever I shower with Ellis, she always makes a point to clean the soles of my feet. I have never been sure if this is a humorous and playful thing, or connected to a more psychological part of her relationship with Christianity. 

Regardless, the work has morphed into a focus on sexuality and tenderness, furthering the idea that desire and purity are not mutually exclusive concepts. Ellis is my Madonna, but she is also my Whore. As I am hers. 

Developing a visual language around our relationship has allowed me to commentate on the experience of being a gay woman in a foreign place at large.