Map to the Star

There are 4 million divorced fathers in Italy, many of whom struggle to spend time with their children. I am one of them. When my daughter, Anita, left our home with her mother, she was 4 months old. The judge ruled that I could spend time with her twice a week (three hours per day) and a full evening every two weeks. It’s a common ruling in Italian custody jurisdiction, especially when children are so young. Soon after the divorce, I realised that I wasn’t truly her father yet. Being a father is something in becoming. Because she didn’t see me everyday, she didn’t understand who I am. I never missed a day with her, no matter what, but the time we spent together was never enough. I worried about being replaced. I felt like I was loosing her.

During the past six and half years, I drove nearly 400 thousands kilometres to be able to spend time with my daughter, and Anita was with me for half of that journey. In that time, covering those kilometres, we could have traveled to the moon. Space travel became a metaphor to tell our story. Space is the most inhospitable environment known to humans, seen from the safety of Earth’s surface, millions of people share the passion for space travel, including me and Anita. We spent countless hours staring at the night sky, studying the solar system or assembling rockets and satellite models.

I feel she has a lot of unanswered questions. I don’t have all the answers. Building our relationship has been a journey into the unknown, seeking a safe place where we could connect to one another.

A place where I could fit in my father’s clothes and she could see me as her dad.