The Weight of Infinite Possibilities

THE WEIGHT OF INFINITE POSSIBILITIES explores the process of a “self” in-the-making via the turbulent and mercurial stage of adolescence. As I make these portraits I aim to be present with my subject yet their future and my past weigh heavy. I project the

Growing up is hard to do. Adolescence is a period of great physical and psychological change. We contend with our own identity and future, whilst in the vulnerable state of emergence. As I make these portraits I aim to be present with my subject yet their future and my past weigh heavy. I project the uncertainty of the world they inherit and am reminded of my own coming of age in all its awkward intensity.

In his work on psychosocial development, the German-American psychologist, Erik Erikson, defined the adolescent phase as primarily contending with “identity and role confusion.” In the period of development between the ages of 11-19, we contend with the central questions of “Who am I?” and “What can I be?” Integral things for any human to define, to be sure. But is any self-in-the-making a fixed entity to be pinned down at any age, let alone amidst a rapidly changing world of constant hormonal turmoil?

These identity contentions are then complexified by the dawning realization that we not only exist as ourselves but must play a role in the broader community as well. Our insular world is now reflected in others' expectations of us and now the job is to reconcile these inner and outer desires. As Erikson explains, “The adolescent is newly concerned with how they appear to others. Superego identity is the accrued confidence that the outer sameness and continuity prepared in the future are matched by the sameness and continuity of one's meaning for oneself.” We need others to see us and accept us wholly as-is and yet we are concurrently needed by others to fill a void or fit a mold.

For ages we have asked the question,.. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We have since evolved way past the canned answer of “doctor or lawyer” but now with the advent of modern identity politics, we must contend with defining one’s gender, sexual orientation, political stance, etc. And with the advent of social media, we must have it all figured out now as it will be recorded and debated publicly from here-on-out. The pressure is on.

The Weight of Infinite Possibilities explores this process of a self-in-the-making via portraits of young people during this turbulent and mercurial stage of adolescence. But I am also curious to look beyond the personal and at the representation itself. I am interested in seeing what it looks like to make a photograph, a fraction of a second, that references the mere surface of an extremely temporal experience in human development. We tend to think of a photograph freezing time. We try to hold on to something fleeting, but how can any one frame hold any semblance of truth in the face of such rapid change? How can a photographic portrait reveal the depth of a character-in-the-works and the multitude of options before them? I don’t think it can but I try just the same.