The Long Tail

“The long tail” is a collection of memories , a trip back to the roots , to the familiar places of my youth. An observation of the changes , of the things that always stay the same. A trip backwards in time. A rediscovery of what is left. What is still waiting , what is new and unexpected ,transformed , looked through the filter of time passed , history consumed and changed perspectives and priorities.

The project developed in a very extraordinary , overwhelming and unsettling historical period. A world pandemic . In march 2019 my life as i knew it for the past 15 years at least suffered a sudden twist . I am a dancer .Literally from one day to another I have been taken away from under my feet the possibility of work , the chance of feeling productive and valuable. I am in a foreign country. All together at once the fragility of my existence was displayed in front of my eyes. No closeness to people , no touch , no love ,no place of comfort and no protection was offered. Suddenly it appeared clear to me that my only chance of going through this period maintaining a certain level of sanity would be to go back to my personal place of love. My family .My hometown. A reality I have left when I was young and dreamy and where I did not have the chance to return in a very ,very long time. And there have been changes. Big changes that I never had the chance to look in the eyes. Or maybe I just chose not to. So on a Friday night in the middle of March ,sitting in my kitchen in Berlin I bought a flight to Rome for the next morning .Packed quickly and left. I remember being very nervous and almost hungry that day. At the time I had just bought a medium format camera from a very cool man in Berlin. An older photographer that lives in an amazing loft in the city center and has a very charismatic personality .I have just met him this one time . From him I’ ve got this big analog camera that at the time was totally unexplored and mysterious to me and that , in fact , still is. He was in a hurry when I met him that day, anyway, and he showed me quickly how to charge the new film , how to best hold the camera and set me off with a bunch of 120 mm films and a big smile. A new heavy,beautiful solid camera was my hands now.. The large format films just allow you a contained number of shoots. Fix lenses , 80 mm , that don’t leave a lot of choices in terms of framing.I believed. I had used an analog camera before , a 35mm cannon which was my mother’s camera when she was a young woman and which I took with me sometimes on my holidays. Apart from that i have always photographed with digital cameras or polaroids before.My technical skills in photography are very limited. With the lockdown in Italy the possibility of developing films was at the time basically down to zero for a good amount of time , so ,for the first couple of months I just photographed blindly. No possibility of looking at what i had done ,i just followed my instincts and photography became a daily ritual , a new relieving routine . A healing process in itself ,I would then discover. For the first 5 weeks I spent in Italy the lookdown regulation did not allow people to go further than 100 meters from their home and there was such a state of panic and terror regarding the virus that hardly anyone took that chance anyways. In this contest , my focus in photography shifted inwards. The inside , the familiar , the close , the daily all of this became my new source of inspiration and interest , while shifting my attention towards the inside by the observation of my reality and surroundings I did not

realize at first that this would be a key to start my own very personal trip towards the center of me . As I was screwing towards the middle with the tool of observation I was in fact also digging every day closer to my core. But this is a process that is still happening and of which i can not forecast an outcome yet.

Captivity , this new commun reality emerges from the images I have been shooting . People in the intimacy of their homes , domesticated animals and objects started to populate my imagination. Still objects , empty objects, simple objects in their perpetual status of platitude. Objects left alone waiting to be used ,activated in search of their own meaning.While losing irremediably their meaning for the outside viewer. Animals on the hunt of a tender caresse , with big eyes. They would stare back at me , they would come closer waiting for allowance .So much force and potential given up for tenderness. People , my people , fragmented bodies , changed bodies ,rich , complex , patient .At times scared and at times full of hope. All of this contained. All of this still . I come closer , I narrow the field of vision, I look at this in their fragility yet in their greatness. I look at them with empathy , with the desire of understanding and giving back dignity. I look at their flaws where a great beauty lies. Calm. Unpretentious. In the observation I recognise hints of their stories , I recognise the struggle , I recognize my struggle. I recognise my story. They talk to me about time , about a time that has passed .They shine ,yet still, of a burning light that comes from the past with great strength. They are the stars in my sky. The memories , memories so dear to me, they appear one after the other and they link to these new inhabitants. They slip where there is space in my consciousness , they glew together. the heal. A story is told again ,I follow iit back in my grandparents graveyard, inside empty clothes within the hug of familiar harms. By looking at all these little pieces I can follow a thread that recompose the bigger picture The greatness appears again renewed. Where now there is no filter and no fake embellishments there is the space to put myself. My experience, my vision. And a story is told again .. backwards.