Some of these days, You'll miss me honey

This project is my personal journey of self-discovery through photography, a visual Bildungsroman intertwining memory, loneliness, and identity. It’s a cathartic dialogue with my past, rewriting my early life to find belonging and meaning.

Some of these days,
You’ll miss me honey
2012-2023

“Some of these days, you’ll miss me honey” is a process of building my own Bildungsroman through places, feelings, and frames succeeding like a stream of consciousness. The images here have developed an intimate dialogue with myself which I started writing more than 10 years ago.

I felt the need to create this project to rewrite the first part of my life, to be able to give it a meaning, fixing broken bones and making a sort of catharsis.

It’s also a letter to my childhood self, when I didn’t know what to do with all those feelings and I was constantly overwhelmed by them.
I was experiencing nostalgia for the past and melancholy for the future, all the time. During that period there has always been a deafening silence in the back, like a white noise humming, as an uncanny feeling you may perceive looking at an industrial landscape, so fascinating and disturbing at the same time.

These images embrace years when I felt as if I was a spectator of my own life and I learned to look outside through photography shedding any sense of guilt. There was no rational reason why I felt so estranged from my family and my hometown, but painting at first and then photographing helped me to get through that void.

I did not know what it meant to feel belong and photography was my bridge to establish a connection with my surroundings. Photography let me disappear into that framed space, where I found myself. While I was shooting, I felt like I existed.

Like poetry, the photographic medium picks
up details from the present and connects them with distant facts and places adding its own interpretation. In this series, different layers intertwine blending memories, thoughts, private spaces, paintings and photography references together with cinematic frames. The title is another mention taken from Sartre’s book “Nausea”, which was crucial to my growth. This book led me to ascribe words to what I had been experiencing for so long.

This work is about loneliness, fears, insecurities, the search for one’s own identity and why
I started photographing. It’s also about re- appropriating familiar spaces I used to perceive for so long as uncanny and the upside down perception of urban landscapes without any identity I felt as incredibly close as intimate rooms.

Everything started that day
only to fall apart,
while everything out was still
like a river in a dusty daydream nest.

Everything was so unbearably close as if it was burning.

Everything was blurry,
I couldn’t see so far,
I felt old frames looked like wrecks,
living rooms as glass corners where one could not longer sit, bedrooms like empty parking lots,

concrete walls as mountains, empty walls as still lifes, lamps like nightscapes and windows as opening worlds.

Everything shattered and I hid, I hid for so long in those ruins that I almost lost myself.