Satan at the Paris' gates

I realized I capture every religious symbol that appears, and a lot of my photographs are about it. I went through my family archives and saw, year by year, that religion marked me and somehow I tell my story through the pictures, whether I like it or not

I was born and raised in Poland, catholic country. Since 1994 church is not separate from the state, so the law, social rules and education system are based on the catholic values. Now the church and the goverment openly stand against women, lgbt community and freedome as itself. I was raised in catholic values. Till 13 I was going to catholic school, then become a part of Light-Live movement. Since I remember I was told that God will punish me for my sins and if I will not follow rules I gonna go to hell. I prayed every night, apologizing for my sins. What sins could have a few years old child. Since I was a little girl  I believed I am sinful just simply as I am, that my body is something I should be ashamed of and no matter how I try I wont be good enough. As a women I knew I should cover my body. I believed that my only purpouse as a women is to get married, having kids and rasie them in catholic values. That I have no right to have pleasure, to choose, to be myself. That being gay, having abortion are simply bad and straight way to be condemned . When I found out I am bisexual I was feeling guilty and pray to God to change me. It took me years to realize that is nothing wrong with me, that being women doesn't mean I have no voice, being LGBTQ+ is just normal. I am 32 right now. I stand for the women rights, abortion, LGBTQ+ community and against discrimination. But I am still not free from the ghosts of the past, and till now, even though I am not believer anymore sometimes I am afraid of going to hell. To believe should always be a choice, made by conscious will, not indoctrination, not forced by the system. When I started to photograph during studies, I realized that subconsciously I capture every religious symbol that appears, and lot of my photographs are about it. I went through my family archives and saw, year by year, that religion was present in every sphere of my live, was one of the main subjects appearing on my family photographs. Religion marked me and somehow I just tell my story through the pictures, whether I like it or not.