I'll See You in the Morning

The hierarchy of the gaze and how it shapes our understanding of power, tenderness, and visibility—particularly through the lens of gender.

For as long as I can remember, I felt envious of the male sex. Exhausted by the patriarchal gaze that has been uplifted and rewarded, I began considering my own outward gaze. Through much of my life, I could never fully express or understand my androgyny, and how it informs my way of seeing. I have been photographing myself and my partner on and off throughout our decade long relationship. Seeing how we’ve changed as we aged. The growth in our lives through the years. A hundred thousand hours of being together and counting. I felt a sense of control over my own body, and found a connection to intimacy through the taking of a photograph.

In embracing and navigating my queer identity, I am curious how the act of looking and being looked at can be influenced by societal expectations around gender. I believe the gaze is a struggle of authority between the subject and the photographer, and subsequently the viewer. Through directing and staging my partner into poses that are more effeminate and soft, while photographing myself in a dual gendered gaze, I examine how the hierarchy of the gaze has shaped our understanding of love, tenderness, insecurity, and fragility. I ultimately question who holds the power in the image, how that power shifts, and what it means to assert agency over one’s own body and representation.