I Will Rip Your Heart Out

The project «I will rip your heart out» explores my ex-flatmate’s life and my relationship with her. Shot entirely in our rooms, it tells a story about growing up, trust, love, sexuality, protest, game, trauma and care. My purpose was to show Polina’s life, full of pain and joy - eclectic and controversial, same as real life appears to me.

Immersion and intimacy of living together blurred the line between my life and the life of the subject. While making pictures, I was constantly questioning myself whether I’m an observer or a participant, and there’s no easy answer.

The series show our everyday surroundings, interiors of our flat, portraits of Polina and her friends and lovers, food, mess and other signs of life. There is also some posing, as a game between Polina S., camera and myself. I am fascinated by how things and people change over time, day by day.

I try to be gentle with those who allow me to see their vulnerable side and hope pictures reflect that intention. In this project I ask myself how we decide that we are beautiful, what it means to look sexy and what’s in the gap between our self-image and how we appear to others in the pictures.