Eggshells

This project explores the personal consequences of shift work; specifically of first responders, on a marriage. It does so by revealing the isolation, detachment and loneliness experienced by the partner and will hopefully encourage others to seek help and communicate.

I didn’t see it coming.

It had taken my husband five years to get into the police. For the first twenty weeks of the academy, things were unchanged in our home. I brought him cups of tea while he poured over textbooks and I picked up the slack around the house.

Then the shift work started.

He was barely home; and when he was, he was mentally absent, exhausted and distant. The loneliness was creeping in. I felt as though I was on the periphery of his new life.

I started crying all the time.

Communication stopped. Explosive fighting began.

He said it was like walking on eggshells at home.

This project explores the personal consequences of shift work (specifically first responders) on a marriage. It does so by revealing the isolation, detachment and loneliness experienced by the partner (myself).

I believed our marriage was strong yet the effect was almost immediate. All of a sudden, my husband was 'gone'. Why were these issues not discussed during training at the academy? Is it a coincidence that many of my husband's colleagues (in the police) are on their second and third marriages? Where was the warning about how this could impact your relationships?

It wasn’t until I started seeking help that I realised how common this is, but rarely discussed.

I explore these themes and share my story to create a dialogue and open up the space to others.

‘Eggshells’ will piece together how the job of a first responder can affect a marriage while exploring ways to address this and overcome such a drastic life change.