Burning Lilies: an ode to the chidless women

  • Dates
    2021 - 2025
  • Author
  • Location Netherlands, Netherlands

What if you choose not to have children? Motherhood is beautiful, but it’s not a given. Yet in our culture, it is often presented as a woman’s natural, and sometimes even only, destiny.

From Mary to Venus. The woman as mother is deeply rooted in our history, religion, and art. Fertility symbols are as old as time. But where are the images of the woman who is not a mother? Where is her place in that collective story?

Burning Lilies is a project about the strength and vulnerability of a life without children. About choosing a different path, letting go of expectations, fighting stigma, and confronting the silence that often follows.

I started photographing for Burning Lilies six years ago. I had just gotten married, and together we decided not to have children. He got a vasectomy at the age of 29, which sparked a lot of discussion. Intuitively, I began creating images to process the emotions and document our journey. But over time, it became clear: this isn’t just about me.

It’s estimated that one in five women remains childless, and yet we rarely hear their stories. Why is it so normal to ask, “When are the kids coming?” and so rare to ask, “Do you want children?” Why is there so little space for doubt, nuance, or an alternative expression of womanhood?

Burning Lilies opens a dialogue about autonomy, femininity, identity, and the freedom to shape your life on your own terms.

This project is a candidate for PhMuseum 2026 Photography Grant

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