Aseptic Field

The aseptic field protects what we cherish the most—a safe space for our vulnerabilities. It explores the struggle of maintaining innocence in these sophisticated modern environments, revealing the tension between purity, contamination, and eroticism.

My images explore themes of sensuality, innocence, and personal connection, and how these concepts—along with seduction, intimacy, and lust—undergo a slow process of contamination from the outside. This transformation turns innocent fantasies and ideals of perfection into disconcerting experiences of fear, desire, pain, and isolation that we inevitably encounter in an imperfect world. I invite the audience to be the foreign object invading a sanctuary that preserves a sterile world, which remains untouched and pure until our presence turns it dark and unnerving. Anything entering an aseptic field alters its pristine nature, gradually contaminating its parts and changing its colors, sounds, and textures, distorting what lies within the protective walls.

I aim to depict a consistent tension between purity and impurity. Bows, flowers, laces, and dresses—motifs of innocence—are employed throughout my hazy still-life images and portraits, paradoxically evoking violence. The ribbons in my work are not silky but fleshy, appearing as sensual wounds in Ribbon Wound (2024) or literally made from incised meat in Peach Torture Room – Window (2024). These emblems of purity become embedded in the body, threatening to contaminate, eroticize, and decompose.

The relational aspects of rebellious girlhood are performed through portraits of my sister and me venturing across various interiors and exteriors. The act of blowing a dandelion could be perceived as wishful or naïve, yet in Dandelion Bomb (2023), the suspended pollen invades our faces, seeking to irritate and abrade. Set against East Asian culture, Perambulator (2023) stages myriad contradictions. I strain to push a wheelless trolley while my sibling wraps herself in an infantile position, heightening the tension between stagnancy and movement, friction and enchantment.

Instead of using traditional documentary photography, I mix sculpture and metaphor to present complex transformations that remain unseen and occur within, aligning more with contemporary photography. Photography captures not only what we can see but also what is unseen yet felt.

For context, my first photography series, School Bullying (2018), tells the true story of my high school experience. Feelings of isolation have surrounded me since kindergarten. Later, while pursuing my photography master’s degree in the UK, I was tested and found to have traits of Asperger's. I don’t see it as a mental illness but as a personality trait. It helps me understand myself better and why people say I am extremely stubborn, especially regarding my concept of pure love. Learning to build healthy connections with others is a slow but important process, and my photography serves as my therapeutic diary.

My story unfolds during my girlhood. I grew up in an environment of pure love, influenced by pure love idol dramas unique to Asian pop culture, and a family where everyone married their first love. This shaped my ideological view of relationships. When I discovered that my date had previously been in a relationship with someone else, I began to vomit frequently and eventually developed an eating disorder. In a society dominated by sexual liberation, I felt extremely painful and lonely. Fortunately, I found an online forum—a small group that shared my values. Some members suffered from depression or even attempted suicide due to their trauma in pursuit of pure love, while others faced partners who concealed their romantic histories or engaged in infidelity. For many, love must equal sexual desire, born from love. With this group, I gradually recovered.

Pure love is my example, but everyone has their own aseptic field, where they protect what they cherish. Each person experiences moments when idealism clashes with harsh reality. The struggle between the persistence of innocence and the cruelty of reality is a necessary lesson in growing up. It's crucial to continue resolutely despite knowing the task may be impossible. At 26, I have still not entered any relationship, holding firm to my ideology of love. Though it may seem naïve and draw laughter from some, that’s acceptable; no one should mock another’s sincere beliefs. We each take responsibility for our choices. The gem in my aseptic field represents pure love. What’s yours?

This is a safe environment to share your vulnerabilities. In a post-modern society, as grand narratives fade, individual viewpoints are emerging, and private photography has taken on diverse forms of expression. Every voice deserves to be heard and encouraged.