After Landfall

‘After Landfall’ situates my inner experiences within ecological time, allowing the personal to unfold instead of being explained outright. The landscape serves as a structural framework; mirroring cycles of shame, belonging, and permission.

After Landfall situates my inner experiences within ecological time, allowing the personal to unfold through land instead of being explained outright. These photographs exist as a private conversation, allowing the viewer to step into a moment that only exists between the subject and the camera. The Ontario landscape serves as a structural framework; its repetition mirrors cycles of shame, belonging, and permission.

The initial photographic cut was 24 images: 12 portraits and 12 landscapes throughout the four seasons. The photographic series is named Landfall, the images were created during a time that I was rediscovering my own personhood. From there, I tightened the visual narrative and added written works that pull from my experiences to challenge my own internalized rules. The written works are poems that depict growing up and starting to recognize my own voice and needs outside of institutional and family systems. The writing blends together different periods of my life, moments that I understood as I got older. The style of writing mirrors my imagery, blending together the body and landscapes, to collapse the idea that they are separate from myself. The decision to rename the book After Landfall comes from finishing the work that was used to process rediscovery and change. It became a reflection of the previous years.

Being diagnosed with learning disabilities at a young age, I self-imposed beliefs that if I tried harder, I could fit the mold of others. From the moment I release the shutter, I use my hands to build a body of work that directly challenges early assessments of my limited dexterity. This act of reclaiming a format I historically struggled with redefines what authorship means to me.

A landfall signifies coming in from sea, the passing of a storm, the end of a journey. This series developed as a way to combat burnout. I used the camera to understand my relationship with the earth, with others. The Great Lakes mirror my stomach lining while the gaze of my sitter draws me back into reality. After Landfall looks to understand what comes after leaving traditional pathways. It’s internal and reflective, while presenting an intimate space to process these experiences. I dream of natural light with my feet pressed into the muddy fields of Northern Ontario, and sometimes still, I allow myself to dream of normalcy.

The funds will be used for a run of handmade editions which will include 9 books size 8x9 in., bound with a hardcover. The production will cover printing, paper, the fabrication of the book, including paper cutting, folding, stitching, gluing and the hardcover. The exposed spine is bound with a blue thread and a French bookbinding stitch. The cover I designed is debossed in blue ink, tying into the colour of the endpapers and the thread, which for me is the emotional core of the book while the red cover material visually mirrors the poetry. The image is positioned to mimic the scale of a Polaroid. I am interested as a bookmaker how scale and positioning of the image can influence the meaning of the photograph. Placing the image above the centre of the page changes how the viewer interacts with the image, creating an uplifting feeling. The front is debossed with an outline of a snippet of the image in the centre of the book, while the back is debossed with the last piece of writing. This allows the viewer to hold two parts of the book at the same time, moving the book from viewing to a tactile and sensory experience. The limited run speaks to the bespoke quality of the book; small modifications change the language of the book. Since the process and design details are intentional, removing integral parts of it, like thinner paper, reduces the amount of thread that is shown, resulting in less of an exposed spine and thickness of the book. Making the book by hand is as important as the work inside, small alterations ultimately change the narrative of the book.

The initial prototype was made possible by a micro-grant funded by Canada Council for the Arts. This funding covered costs to undertake a specialized photo bookmaking mentorship with Eliot Dudik, a professor from The College of William & Mary. With his guidance, I was able to complete the first mock-up. Production materials for the prototype were supported by a City of Ottawa Seed Grant, alongside funding from the Ontario Arts Council’s Deaf and Disability Arts Projects: Materials grant.

Distribution will be done by de Montigny Contemporary, including the book being brought to ArtToronto and Plural. A formal publication launch will take place December 4th at de Montigny Contemporary.