What if We Were Lovers?

  • Dates
    2023 - Ongoing
  • Author
  • Locations London, Los Angeles, Tokyo

Explores intimacy formed and undone within contemporary dating culture. Through unstaged photographs made during real encounters on dating apps, the work traces fleeting closeness shaped by speed, choice, and emotional uncertainty.

What If We Were Lovers? is a research-led practice rooted in personal experience, exploring and reflecting on the paradoxes of contemporary dating culture within a post-digital context. Like many, I navigated dating apps as a gateway to "true love"—a portal promising convenience and an infinite pool of possibilities. Since 2023, I have operated within this system, meticulously formatting profiles, filtering matches, managing expectations as if managing a product, and reflecting on repeated failures. Despite sincere emotional investment, stable intimacy remained elusive, replaced instead by the rapid generation and dissipation of connections.

I am struck by the startling speed at which intimacy is now constructed and dismantled: one date said 'I love you' to me on our second meeting—an utterance that lacks weight in this fast-paced era, no longer pointing toward commitment or continuity. While romance often involves the unforeseen factors, the formatted and formulated nature of modern dating has become, itself, a process of de-romanticization. This lead me to think: is technology fundamentally altering how we perceive and practice love?

These images were made with the full consent of the subjects, captured during genuine dates and shared moments rather than through staging or direction. Some encounters lasted only a single meeting; others developed into friendships or emotionally significant, if undefined, connections. I deliberately avoid traditional documentary approaches to relationships, as well as explicit representations of intimacy. Instead, the photographs function as fragments of shared time—passing landscapes, hands held while crossing streets, shadows cast by sunlight, reflections of each other through the lens, or photographs taken quickly by strangers. These fleeting interactions resist narrative completion.

Beyond the photographs, I archive dating diaries, reflections, and fragments of digital communication, including private messages and social media traces. Amidst tenderness and heartbreak, truth and performance, what remains are not stable narratives of love, but traces—memories, projections, and emotional residues.

Beyond the calculated games of modern romance, the work seeks a return to the presence of the moment—the trajectory of light, the passing landscape, and the sincere exchange. It leaves us with a lingering question: What if we were lovers?

© Tia Liu - First 'Lover' —He didn't tell me he was in relationship until I found out, he simply replied: I'm not monogamous.
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First 'Lover' —He didn't tell me he was in relationship until I found out, he simply replied: I'm not monogamous.

© Tia Liu - Shadow with 'Lover 01'.
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Shadow with 'Lover 01'.

© Tia Liu - He took me to the sunset on our first date, it was beautiful.
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He took me to the sunset on our first date, it was beautiful.

© Tia Liu - He picked up a fallen butterfly.
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He picked up a fallen butterfly.

© Tia Liu - Image from the What if We Were Lovers? photography project
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The summer of 2023, I met him on Hinge. He said “I love you” on our second date, while he was drunk. We were never together, but this was one of the most unforgettable encounter for me. This is he only photo of us – We were both a bit awkward when this photo was taken.

© Tia Liu - He took many photos of me on our every date – he is also a photographer.
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He took many photos of me on our every date – he is also a photographer.

© Tia Liu - He always held my hands.
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He always held my hands.

© Tia Liu - Shadow with 'Lover 02'.
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Shadow with 'Lover 02'.

© Tia Liu - The Light Hit His Bed.
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The Light Hit His Bed.

© Tia Liu - Desire.
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Desire.

© Tia Liu - Image from the What if We Were Lovers? photography project
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We only had one date – after I asked a stranger to take this photo of us. "Just remember to send me the photo later!"you said.

© Tia Liu - Image from the What if We Were Lovers? photography project
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While at the bar, we hardly stopped talking about everything from work to family to relationship, but my intuition told me we won't see each other again after this, and that was right.

© Tia Liu - A Late Night Walk
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A Late Night Walk

© Tia Liu - He is quite 'Pet Friendly'. He was probably the best guy I have met on dating apps.
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He is quite 'Pet Friendly'. He was probably the best guy I have met on dating apps.

© Tia Liu - A Selfie in Malibu.
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A Selfie in Malibu.

© Tia Liu - Shadow with 'Lover 03'.
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Shadow with 'Lover 03'.

© Tia Liu - He was late on that day, but we had a good time in that cute izakaya.
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He was late on that day, but we had a good time in that cute izakaya.

© Tia Liu - He and his Winnie the Pooh
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He and his Winnie the Pooh

© Tia Liu - A Quiet Moment in His Living Room
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A Quiet Moment in His Living Room

© Tia Liu - Image from the What if We Were Lovers? photography project
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These are digital fragments from dating apps, personal notes, and conversations with dates. They form a quiet archive of intimacy and are essential to the project, but I am still searching for the right way to present them.

What if We Were Lovers? by Tia Liu

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