The Act of Care

© Sophia Nasif - My grandparents, with my grandmother in her hospital bed, surrounded by all of her care paraphernalia. © Sophia Nasif - Image from the The Act of Care photography project © Sophia Nasif - Image from the The Act of Care photography project View all images ↓
View all images ↓
  • Dates
    2021 - 2024
  • Author
  • Locations United Kingdom, Kent

A long-form photography project documenting the photographer's family during the final years of her grandmother's life with Alzheimer's, exploring the acts of love and care from the family.

In July 2021, my grandmother Sally had a stroke. I was one of her full time caregivers already at this point, as her vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s were seriously deteriorating her ability to manage with just my grandfather. In an incredibly short period of time, we went from just simply helping her shower and get up the stairs to her being bedridden and unable to even feed herself. 

Although myself, my aunt and my grandfather remained her primary carers, this project takes a look at the wider effect of caregiving on our whole family, and how we had to adapt our lives around her medical needs. Everything as we knew it changed.

This long form documentary was made from July 2021 until July 2024, and is a brief selection of thousands of photographs taken of my family in that time. 

I want to use this project to show all sides of family caregiving, because despite being physically exhausting and mentally draining, it still had many moments of joy. It still bonded us together as a family, even as it caused strains in our relationships. 

I think it is also important to highlight the gender disparity in caregiving between the men and women that was apparent even in our own fairly moderate family. The heavy portion of the physical act of care but also the emotional labour often fell upon myself, my aunts and my sister. 

As a student at UAL, I hope that this can also start a conversation around students and caregiving. When I started my MA, I was cut off from Carer’s Allowance by the Government, despite still caring well over the minimum hours required to recieve because I was in full time study.

The final thread of this story is the saddest for me - the slow loss of my grandfather's love of his life. Watching him sink into more and more heartbreak every time more of pieces of who she was disappeared to the Alzheimer's was one of the hardest things I've ever had to witness in my life.

Dementia is a very cruel disease. Our grief started over a decade before my grandmother passed away.

© Sophia Nasif - My grandparents, with my grandmother in her hospital bed, surrounded by all of her care paraphernalia.
i

My grandparents, with my grandmother in her hospital bed, surrounded by all of her care paraphernalia.

© Sophia Nasif - Image from the The Act of Care photography project
i

My grandmother’s stroke left her eventually unable to hold and lift cutlery with food to her mouth, so she always needed to be fed. I thought often about how we return to how we started life, needing care.

© Sophia Nasif - Image from the The Act of Care photography project
i

My sister giving my grandmother a haircut - she did this every single time she came back down to Kent on a break from her studies all the way up in Newcastle.

© Sophia Nasif - My grandfather reading the newspaper to my grandmother, an act of love as much as care.
i

My grandfather reading the newspaper to my grandmother, an act of love as much as care.

© Sophia Nasif - Image from the The Act of Care photography project
i

My grandfather saying goodnight to my grandmother. At this point, he was caring for her whilst waiting for a hip operation as his hip replacement had completely broken.

© Sophia Nasif - Image from the The Act of Care photography project
i

Sundowning is common in dementia patients, where they are awake in the night often shouting in confusion. I would go down and try to soothe her, which left me with getting very little sleep.

© Sophia Nasif - Image from the The Act of Care photography project
i

At many Christmases that I saw my grandparents as a child, they used to take me to see the Nutcracker ballet. I bought it and put it on at Christmas on my laptop so that she could still see it. My aunt prepares the vegetables for our Christmas dinner beside her.

© Sophia Nasif - Christmas day - time for a family quiz! We made sure to include my grandmother in a team.
i

Christmas day - time for a family quiz! We made sure to include my grandmother in a team.

© Sophia Nasif - My aunt comforts my grandfather, who often becomes overwhelmed by the situation.
i

My aunt comforts my grandfather, who often becomes overwhelmed by the situation.

© Sophia Nasif - Image from the The Act of Care photography project
i

Whenever I wasn't tending to Granny, I kept Grandpa distracted with a game of Scrabble. I didn't really have time for myself during this period of my life.

© Sophia Nasif - Image from the The Act of Care photography project
i

A regular family meal at my grandparents. My sister is in the foreground with my grandmother, as my brother and stepfather share a funny moment.

© Sophia Nasif - Image from the The Act of Care photography project
i

My mother with her mother. Every time she goes over, she says goodbye just in case it’s the last time that she sees her. My mother was with her when she passed.

© Sophia Nasif - Image from the The Act of Care photography project
i

My grandmother passed away in the summer of 2024. Even though it was sad, we were relieved that she was no longer in pain after so long. The photograph we used for her funeral booklets is one I took of her - I love it because I know she is smiling right at me, and looking at it makes me feel close to her.

© Sophia Nasif - The day of my grandmother’s cremation, at dinner after the service.
i

The day of my grandmother’s cremation, at dinner after the service.

© Sophia Nasif - Image from the The Act of Care photography project
i

My mother and aunt comfort each other on the day we scattered my grandmother's ashes, in the woods by the house where they were raised by her - our first time back in over a decade since the house was sold.

© Sophia Nasif - Image from the The Act of Care photography project
i

It takes my grandfather until Easter 2024 to be able to scatter the ashes, and say farewell to Sally Nöel Whitestone (née Wainwright).

The Act of Care by Sophia Nasif

Prev Next Close