Siamese Soul (Revised)

In this series I am exploring the connection and bond twins have symbolically to express the experience of loss, grief and new found hope after losing my oldest sibling.

I lost my oldest sibling in a car accident many years ago. I thought I lost him forever but a few years after his death I became acutely aware of our inexplicable bond and connection with each. One of the closest places I saw this bond reflected was when learning about and observing twins. I wanted to explore this almost otherworldly connection that twins have with each other to try and capture this intangible feeling I have been experiencing with my brother. In this series I am exploring our "soul" connection and I am hoping that it would bring some form of comfort to those who have also lost loved ones especially siblings at a young age, to be reminded that even after unbearable trauma and grief, in time it can be transformed into a different kind of connection with them, a depth of connection that can be very healing.

© Stefanie Langenhoven - Sisters blinking in sync, 2019.
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Sisters blinking in sync, 2019.

© Stefanie Langenhoven - Image from the Siamese Soul (Revised) photography project
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"Guns and Roses" his favourite band, 1982; 2023.I have always felt slightly disturbed when looking at this image. It is unsettling seeing a child holding a gun and in army gear, It makes me think of young men who are expected to join the army and go war.

© Stefanie Langenhoven - Image from the Siamese Soul (Revised) photography project
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Absent presence, 2018.The presence of his absence can still feel so tangible, especially when we are together as a family. Couches plays a significant role in my childhood memories, as children we used to often play in front of, on and behind our couches

© Stefanie Langenhoven - Image from the Siamese Soul (Revised) photography project
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Sisters' secret, 2018.There is this secret that I feel twins share, it is only known to them. This secret resonates with how I have been experiencing my connection with my bother a few years after his passing.

© Stefanie Langenhoven - Image from the Siamese Soul (Revised) photography project
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Still; restless, 2019.I wanted to re-create the memories with an imagined set up of our living when we were children. The sisters acting out a play between them. Here there is an emotional undertone in the photograph in contrast to the childlike setup.

© Stefanie Langenhoven - Image from the Siamese Soul (Revised) photography project
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Even though I can't see you, I can still feel you, 2019.I also feel a sense of nostalgia about wallpaper as our house's walls were covered in different wallpaper.

© Stefanie Langenhoven - I meet you in my dreams, 2019.
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I meet you in my dreams, 2019.

© Stefanie Langenhoven - Image from the Siamese Soul (Revised) photography project
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Siamese sisters. A part of me (Version I). 2019 & 2023.The water represents a deeper subconscious, the place where I imagine our souls reside. The sisters are faceless here to represent the notion that we can not see what our souls looks like.

© Stefanie Langenhoven - Image from the Siamese Soul (Revised) photography project
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Siamese sisters. A part of me . (Version II) 2019 & 2023The red rose is also reminiscent of blood, the red car and red shirt my brother was wearing when he died. But even through all this unbearable trauma there's this beauty in our connectedness.

© Stefanie Langenhoven - Memories, they're fading away, 2018.
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Memories, they're fading away, 2018.

© Stefanie Langenhoven - Self portrait, looking at a photograph of my brother and I from 1981, 2023
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Self portrait, looking at a photograph of my brother and I from 1981, 2023

© Stefanie Langenhoven - Image from the Siamese Soul (Revised) photography project
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The innocence of childhood, 2023.It was only after having children myself that I could truly connect with what my parents must have gone through when my brother passed away. Thankfully their innocence has soften the sadness and has brought so much healing

Siamese Soul (Revised) by Stefanie Langenhoven

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