Hidden Glances

Through re-photographing analog collages, which I construct using only two images from the same vintage gay pornography calendar published during my youth when I was closeted, I investigate my fears and desires prior to coming out in my early twenties.

Hidden Glances is a series of photographs constructed from vintage gay pornographic calendars published between the years when I was beginning to recognize my sexuality as a youth until I came out.Each image is an amalgam of two figures that originally appeared in the same calendar. In the top layer the male body has been spliced from his scene and the figureless image is laid on top of a second image.

Through the negative space of the absent figure, a censured portion of the figure beneath is revealed. The construction is then photographed, thus bringing both layers onto the same seamless photographic plane. This compression of space, along with the duality of revealing and concealing, become a metaphor for the numerous years when my gaze upon other men was tentative and fleeting, fearful that those stolen glimpses would expose my homosexuality.

Furthermore, the photographs remove the source material from their original intention—that of gratuitous imagery for sexual stimulation. A new narrative is constructed in which the viewer is invited to consider how pornography can be used to inform more reflective conversations about the male body, the coming-out process, and the struggles that so many gay men and I have encountered. On a more universal level, the work explores themes of self-acceptance, shame, fear, and personal secrets.