Forget-me-nots bloom in January

Personal project exploring memory, identity and loss through photography. As my mother’s dementia progresses, we work with family photos, analyzing and manually destroying them to mirror how the disease erases her memories and sense of self.

"Forget-me-nots bloom in January"

What happens to a person when part of their memories disappears forever?

Who do we become when our sense of self fades away?

These questions have stayed with me since my mother began suffering from dementia. For several years, I have witnessed changes in her behavior and sense of identity. As I accompany her, I reflect on how memory works and how much of what we try to hold on to will ultimately remain.

In this project, I focus on working with archival photographs as "material evidence of what once was." I use photos from our family albums — in the past, my mother would write descriptions on the back, meant to serve as a guide for the future.

Today, I invite her to engage in therapeutic work with these archives. She personally analyzes the photos, writes notes, crosses things out, and marks people and places. I want my mother not just to be the subject of photographs, but to become an active participant and co-creator of the project.

Some of the photos are intentionally destroyed using traditional techniques: cutting, erasing, tearing. Symbolically, this reflects how the disease strips my mother of her memories.

When I take photos, I focus on details — small fragments of reality. I'm particularly drawn to ‘shifts,’ those tiny imperfections I once associated with absent-mindedness but now see as subtle signs of her illness progressing.

I keep trying to capture my mom in a portrait. As her memory fades, she gradually loses her sense of self. I can’t fully capture her. Instead, I focus on fragments of her body, as if pieces of her personality existed separately, impossible to fully bring together.

© Marta Wojnarowska-Olszewska - Image from the Forget-me-nots bloom in January photography project
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A photo taken around 1963. It shows my mom's close cousin. My mom no longer remembers her and cannot recognize her in the photo.

© Marta Wojnarowska-Olszewska - Image from the Forget-me-nots bloom in January photography project
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A photo taken around 1954. It shows my mom's teacher along with her classmates. Mom could only remember the teacher and didn’t recall the other people

© Marta Wojnarowska-Olszewska - Image from the Forget-me-nots bloom in January photography project
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A photo taken around 1958. It shows my mom in a stroller belonging to the children of her eldest sister. Handwritten notes made by my mom attempt to reconstruct the year, the location where the photo was taken, and who the stroller belonged to.

© Marta Wojnarowska-Olszewska - Image from the Forget-me-nots bloom in January photography project
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A photo taken around 1955. In the photo, my mom is with her aunts, grandmother, and her maternal family. The photo was taken at her older sister’s wedding. The torn part of the photo seems to symbolize the removal of these people from my mom’s memory and from the family history she no longer remembers.

© Marta Wojnarowska-Olszewska - Image from the Forget-me-nots bloom in January photography project
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A photo taken around 1957. In the photo, my uncle is with my mom’s godchildren. By this time, my mom didn’t remember much from her life anymore. The text includes phrases such as, 'Blue trees in winter,' 'someone’s house,' 'Whose children are these?' and 'Maybe they’re children connected to Bina and Stach (...) but I’m not sure.'

© Marta Wojnarowska-Olszewska - Image from the Forget-me-nots bloom in January photography project
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A photo taken around 1959. It shows my mom in the city of Szczecin, where she had lived for about 15 years. Handwritten notes made by my mom indicate that she is only able to recognize herself in the photo. The exclamation marks and smudges are a result of her frustration.

© Marta Wojnarowska-Olszewska - Image from the Forget-me-nots bloom in January photography project
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My mom labeled some of the photographs on the back. She didn’t recognize anyone in a photo from 1995 and wrote: 'I am not able to say who is in this photo.' The photo was of herself.

© Marta Wojnarowska-Olszewska - Image from the Forget-me-nots bloom in January photography project
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A photo taken around 1958. It shows my mom's best friend, whom my mom no longer remembers and cannot recognize in the photograph.

© Marta Wojnarowska-Olszewska - Image from the Forget-me-nots bloom in January photography project
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A photo taken around 1964. It shows my mom with my older brother and our cousin. The photo was taken in the seaside town of Międzyzdroje. Handwritten notes made by my mom attempt to identify who is in the photo, the year it was taken, and the location. The cross-outs are the result of mistakes and efforts to reconstruct her memories.

Forget-me-nots bloom in January by Marta Wojnarowska-Olszewska

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