Inside Out

Solmaz Daryani

2020

"I was judged so much by my female friends in school for not being like them and not caring about things they care. I think maybe when I was younger, I wished more I could just be like everyone else because then things would be easier, but it's not because I have a problem with being different. I think the problem is people's judgmental way of thinking that becomes real problems."

Frei, 22, is a transgender person from Aarhus, Denmark. He sensed that he did not feel comfortable with the gender assigned to him at birth. By the time Frei turned thirteen, he had realized that something didn't feel right. He realized that he felt different than his friends. As he describes, he didn't fit into those characteristics of what a girl usually feel or act like. Something inside him always felt different.

Struggling with depression during his childhood made him feel like an outcast and vulnerable among his peers.

It was not until October 2018 when Frei decided that his inner self should see the light of day. He chose to live as he had always felt; like a man.

At 20, he was diagnosed with bipolar and ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). Transitioning has made him willing to treat his bipolar disorder, and to fight united against the stigma.

"stigma of being a transgender person definitely exists in Denmark. I do feel/see it in different ways every day. It took way too long for me to be approved by the health system to get hormones. I think the process is very unfair. The doctors or the people making the laws think you can't make your own decisions when you are mentally ill. they always try to connect the two things and tell me how I feel like I don't understand it better than them."

The story tries to manifest the complicated feelings that resulted as struggling with mental illness and search for identity.

This project purposefully takes a very collaborative approach with the character to ensure that the story and experiences of him are accurately heard and portrayed.

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  • "I think maybe when i was younger I wished more I could just be "like everyone else" because then things would be easier."

  • "I didn't fit into those characteristics of what a girl usually feel or act like. Something inside him always felt different."

  • "When I was old enough to choose where I go and what I do, I made sure to try to go places where I would feel welcome as who I am."

  • "The system is biased against trans people in the way that you have to proof yourself.the doctors or the people making the laws think you can't make your own decisions when you are mentally ill."

  • "I guess,I have always been more angry at society? i have always thought that something was wrong with the way people are expected to be a certain way."

  • Transitioning has made him willing to treat his bipolar disorder, and to fight united against the stigma.

  • "My struggles with mental illness and being trans have been there regardless of society, you know?"

  • "A I do feel a lot better now than I did before I started hormones, I was so miserable, it was constantly there, weighing over me, I had been waiting for so long."

  • "I think I am an outsider in some ways, because I am a little different from the norm, but I don't think it in a bad way, I don't feel that I am alone because there are many others like me."

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