"Being raised in a religious, conservative family in a small coal town in rural Pennsylvania, I was always told that expression of sexuality was a bad thing', — says Alex who is an American-Ukrainian, Christian Orthodox believer, and an essential worker who secretly streams online from time to time.
"I have this inner shame. But when I started camming, I realized that these things are normal."
Marina was my first entry point into the world of online sex work. She commissioned me to take portraits for a promo of her self-recorded music album. "I'm a cam girl, so what?" — the chorus goes in the main banger.
Ukraine is still a patriarchal, conservative country at its core, and I was surprised that Marina is so open about her job. On a lucky day, camming may bring her an average Ukrainian monthly salary. What she also gets is a great deal of emotional pain, weirdly mixed with the joy of performance, self-contemplation, and communication.
"Believe me, webcam modeling is much more about human bonding than it is about pure sex", she said on the day when this picture was taken.
"Nevesta" is Katerina's childhood nickname. It is translated from Russian as "the Bride", and it was her old dream to have her photographs taken in a bridal dress. As a virgin, Katerina worked in an underground illegal studio in Ukraine, where she was receiving only 30% of her real income, and 70% was taken by her boss.
Owners of such studios often treat models like slaves. If a girl wants to leave the studio, they may blackmail her by sending her nudes to parents and university deans.
"A lot of people say, why would you pay this random girl online to do these things for you when you can just watch porn for free. But the answer is, there are people that need to have a connection with a person in order to get off. They need to know a little bit about their life, a little bit about their personality."
Kamilla in a village house in the Carpathian mountains where she lived in childhood. It was not economical reasons that made her try streaming for a few years but a quest for self-empowerment, exploration of her own sexuality, and breaking the communication barriers.
"When growing up, I was always feeling not cute and not sexy. Camming was a way to try to deal with my insecurities and to learn how to interact with males. Did I succeed? Yes and no. But I’m happy I got this experience."
"At a point in my life when I was going through a lot, trying to move out of my very unsafe apartment, I had found an outlet in talking to my clients about that. One person sent me a song. The sample was a lady singing something like, You can do it! Now's the right time! All these encouraging words over a clubby beat.
I remember thinking it was so surreal that this person actually cared about what I was going through. "
"Once, I've been camming for the whole night. In the morning, all tired, I started looking through a kitchen window. There was a bunch of people walking along a street: a young mother and her child, a middle-aged man, a few homeless people.
All of a sudden, I started feeling all their moods and emotions so deeply in my heart that I started crying. Probably a side effect from bonding with my invisible clients".