My name is Fear

sima choubdarzadeh

2016 - Ongoing

I was seven years old when I got sacred for the first time. I was getting back from school when my friend told me: “Did you know that if you reveal your hair out of your scarf, God will punish you by hanging you from it?” When I was 26, after all those fears and tragedies, I decided to stop saying my prayers and fearing God and Hell.

One day my husband locked me up in the house to stop me from reading books, going to the university, seeing my family, and involving with society. It was the same day when an earthquake hit our city and I was locked up in a house on the 10th floor. The thing that I was most worried about was finding the safest place to stand on but at once I felt an empty space beneath my feet and now that is how I am afraid of people and events like quakes. However these fears have worn out and whenever they hit me, I take a step back and hide. Even not being scared comes from being scared. Within people’s silence and their eyes I can find fear.

As if “fear” is the other name for me.

Then, I was confronted with this question, “Who am I?” My life was just like a portrait overshadowed by some men from different angles. In the search for myself. The focus in my story and photos is on the rules and the traditions that are stemmed from religions, and the religious principles. Some of these religious teachings have established the inequality between men and women. These religious principals have been implemented to the constitution by the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Many women are in the government prison as guilty of showing their hair. All they wanted was to let the breeze dance with their hair. Singing is forbidden for girls and women. A girl committed suicide because she fell in love against the rules of the book and they deprived her of this love. Some girls dream of going to college, but found themselves in the bridal gowns being forced to arranged marriages. In this swamp, freedom is suffocated in the womb. There is no space to develop and grow. The tyrant governments always use the religion as the best and strongest lever to control the people.

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  • The man is thrown at the world

  • My friend says my stomach is my best part of my body

  • I fear some people who fight with their nature.

  • Atefeh is brought up in religious and traditional family. She always tries and fights to develop her logic and her life style. Her husband did not allowe her to continue her university. And stay in your houses. Bedizen not yourselves with the bedizenment of the Time of Ignorance. Be regular in prayer, and pay the poor-due, and obey Allah and His messenger. Allah's wish is but to remove uncleanness far from you, O Folk of the Household, and cleanse you with a thorough cleansing. Ahzab chapter of Quran 33.

  • They set on fire the fear. it is a tradition custom to fight with fear.

  • Injury caused by an evil eye. burning special matter to kill evil eyes.

  • Masumeh was hit due to noticing her spouse has another wife. “Men are the protectors of women because of the greater preference that God has given to some of them and because they financially support them. Among virtuous women are those who are steadfast in prayer and dependable in keeping the secrets that God has protected. Admonish women who disobey (God's laws), do not sleep with them and beat them. If they obey (the laws of God), do not try to find fault in them. God is High and Supreme” Nisa chapter of Quran 34.

  • My future is in the shade

  • I feel suffocation

  • You are hang from your hair. Hell.

  • Scorpio

  • Yalda has 17 years old. She has talent in music. Being at concerts always me her a problem. Even she is expelled from school. “the God sent me on a mission to be a blessing to the world in order to destroy musical instrument and ignorance.” Prophet Muhammad said.

  • one of the largest salt lakes on earth, it has shrunk dramatically enough in the past decades to resemble a vast white barren land. Poor agricultural management and a frantic rush for development are responsible for the lake’s desiccation, which represents a loss of nearly 90% of its original surface since the 1970’s.

  • This is me, Sima. I am not religious person nor prostitute. I have taken off cruel costume. “Get married to virgin women because their mouths are sweeter and more compassionate. They learn something early and their love is more enduring” Prophet Muhammad said.