You Know Me Better Than That

You Know Me Better Than That contains several little stories that trace the footsteps of Jiajun “Sean” Wang, and his life-changing journey from 2017 to 2021.

Summer 2017: Almost as soon as I got into the graduate program, I was diagnosed with IgA Nephropathy. I had to ask for a deferment in order to give myself some time to get treated.

Summer 2018: After staying at home for the entire year, I left for graduate school. However, Sue passed away the day I landed in JFK. Mayumi said she couldn’t deliver the one and only photograph that I made of the three of us in time for Sue to see it. Sue didn’t like pictures of her being circulated, but I figured she’d be fine with this one.

Fall 2018: I wanted to know what I looked like, but I didn’t believe what I looked like. I wanted the future self to see what I was like at this time of my life.

Spring 2019: My parents came all the way from Hangzhou to New Haven to rescue me in an emotional spring-break.

Early Summer 2019: I was so home-sick that I started to fold paper cranes, and take pictures of sky and sea scapes facing the direction of home.

Late Summer 2019: I met Kimberly.

Fall 2019: I had a mental breakdown, and was inpatient for some time.

Spring 2020: The COVID hit hard on me and Kimberly, we were really sick. What’s more, she got stuck in the States from visiting me in New Haven.

Summer 2020: We moved back to the Bay Area, where my dreams originated.

Fall 2021: Due to VISA expiration, I had to depart from Kimberly and my lovely dogs, Oso and Delta, coming back to China alone.

Fall 2018 - Summer 2020: I spent a lot of time in the bathroom every day, and the little crying smiley face kept me company while I’m on the toilet.

Summer 2017 - Present: Can one unlearn old bitter habits? Muscle memories turning insane. Chances are those eating one alive are irreversible curses. Unfortunately, there is no cure. I like to count, for better or for worse. Perhaps, it’s the cure I’m looking for.

Jiajun “Sean” Wang, Lunar New Year 2022