Anima Animus

  • Dates
    2015 - Ongoing
  • Author
  • Topics Portrait, Studio, Fine Art
  • Location City of London, United Kingdom

Anima Animus is a long term project exploring the borderline of gender.

Anima Animus is a long term project exploring the borderline of gender.

The first part of this project is a series of black and white portraits of trans* and genderqueer people living in the UK.

Each model has undertaken a journey, transitioning from the sex they were assigned at birth to the gender they identify with.

All portraits have been shot on film with a large format camera, taking advantage of the Scheimpflug principle to narrowly focus on the models' eyes.

This stylistic choice is a visual response to the media's tendencies to only focus on trans* people bodies, virtually erasing their identities.

"I think trans representation in the media focuses only on the medical steps of transition, like the hormones therapy and the surgeries.

There’s a general fixation on genitals because for most people, the heteronormative kind of population, that’s what it comes down to, defining people according to what’s between their legs, so there’s not real emphasis on trans psychological well being and the gender spectrum.

There’s a general fixed belief that trans people are all “born in the wrong body” and they need to match their brain with their physical self."

Sabah, a trans genderqueer person, from our interview

Each portrait session is preceded by an interview and I'm currently collaborating with the models to create a series of statements about their lives, with a particular emphasis on how it is to be a gender non conforming person in the UK today.

"At the moment most people in the UK are quite ignorant regarding gender, but I believe it’s the kind of thing that society becomes gradually more used to.

Most gay people are now accepted by most parts of society in this country, while 20, 30 years ago it was a completely different story.

Hopefully in 20 years time, trans and gender non conforming people will have the same kind of recognition and acceptance that gay people are experiencing now."

Caz, a genderqueer person, from our interview

The project is still ongoing and currently I'm specifically trying to include more trans women and intersex people because I believe that they're often misrepresented in the media.

"When I look at the media's depiction of trans women I try not to be upset because otherwise I’d be upset all the time and that’s not worth my time.

On the other hand, I don’t feel that the media is completely bad and I think they are getting better because they realise they can’t get away with it anymore.

Things are moving in the right direction and I do believe that certainly in my lifetime we’ll make it to a point where trans people are in a much, much better place. It won’t happen without a fight, but there are things worth fighting for."

Sophie, a trans woman, from our interview

I’m also photographing cisgender people (individuals whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth).

Cisgender people are considered the norm when it comes to gender identity.

While transgender people often have to explain their gender identity and answer questions about it, cisgender people are not under any sort of pressure to do the same.

I’m interested in reversing this tendency, making people reconsider notions that are usually taken for granted.

"I think that most people like very straightforward labels to navigate the world and one of the reasons that progress has been made it’s because these old boundaries are falling and people are a lot less hasty to pigeon-hole others. Being prejudiced and judgmental is hard wired in the human psyches and culture and evolution is very slow, but we’re getting somewhere."

Tyuja, a person somewhere close to the middle of the gender spectrum, in our interview

In the end I aim to create a series of photographs to illustrate a collaborative body of work that analyses gender, representing people along the whole spectrum and reporting their points of view.

© Cloudy Moroni - Image from the Anima Animus photography project
i

My name is J, I’m 20 and I’m from London. My preferred pronouns change on a daily basis and I identify as non-binary and genderqueer. I think that the media is very binary when it represents trans people and there’s not a lot of scope for non-binary trans people to be portrayed. I know that in past documentaries about trans people, if they had non-binary histories or identified as non-binary, they would cut down their stories and just hide that part of them to stop people being confused, which I think it’s pretty bad because non-binary people already don’t have recognition pretty much anywhere in the world and it’s very hard for us to be taken seriously, for example at work or by medical professionals who are meant to be helping us transition, so I think erasing our stories and journeys is pretty harmful.

© Cloudy Moroni - Image from the Anima Animus photography project
i

My name is CJ Bruce and I’m twenty three. I’d describe my gender identity as genderqueer or transmasculine, because I’m more on the masculine spectrum. Finally I have achieved my goal to be referred for top surgery (a mastectomy) in a few months, but I can’t get top surgery on the NHS (National Health Service) because I don't want to take testosterone. I see myself as male anyway, so I don’t feel like I need testosterone. If I was to take it, I’d probably be more masculine, but I feel like I would become someone else. I was born in Trinidad and Tobago in the Caribbean, and I lived there until I was fourteen, when I moved to London. I came out as a lesbian when I was twelve, in Trinidad, which was a really big deal for me, because it’s a very small minded country. When I moved to London I was really scared to come out in my school, but when someone asked me about it, I didn’t lie and it wasn’t such a big deal for them. Suddenly I moved to this place that’s so much more accepting, where you can meet other people who are just like you and I loved it.

© Cloudy Moroni - Image from the Anima Animus photography project
i

My name is Thomas, I’m 35 years old and I live in London, but I originally come from the South of France, the Languedoc-Roussillon region, near Montpellier. My preferred pronouns are he, his, him. I’m a guy, I’m definitely a man and I’ve been like this for as long as I can remember, but I’ve been living in denial for a long time, acting like a girl, like a woman. I think I’m gay because I used to date guys and I still prefer men. I feel that my sexuality has been causing me some problems in coming to terms with my gender identity because it made things more confusing. I’m still doing some work on myself to be more confident. I feel that this photo shoot could be a good opportunity to see a different side of myself and to make a further step in my transition.

© Cloudy Moroni - Image from the Anima Animus photography project
i

My name is Caz, I live in London and I grew up in south-west Wales, in a small rural community - not a very desirable place for anyone who grows up feeling different from the norm. I don’t really mind what pronouns people use for me, most people use “she”, which I don’t mind, though would be happier with gender-neutral pronouns such as “they”. I also don’t object to “he”! I’d say genderqueer is the most accurate word to describe my gender identity, it’d definitely the closest to what I feel. I don’t fall neatly into either category of female or male, I’m biologically female, but I feel that sometimes I’m both female and male or neither and it changes from time to time. I reject the whole gender binary. When I was very young, I was very tomboyish and I definitely felt like I was a boy or I wanted to be boy. I grew out of it to some extent, mainly because I was made to feel quite ashamed for being like that. Nobody really told me that I was wrong, but I did feel more and more embarrassed about being boyish as I grew older and I did make an effort to be as girly as I could, which was never very successful. It’s only been in the past year that I’ve realised more about my gender identity and changed my look entirely. A year ago I had long hair, I wore women’s clothes and I felt like I was female, but never really happy with what I looked like or what I felt like. I felt like I was failing at being a girl, because I was doing it wrong in some way. I finally discovered a love of wearing men’s clothes, of having a short boyish haircut and just look more masculine in general and the whole thing felt so much more natural and liberating. For the first time in my life I love what I look like. I really like it when I get called “sir” in a shop, or other times when people assume that I’m male. There was a time when I tried to be more female, but it never felt really comfortable. I don’t need to pass as a man 100% of the time, I’m quite content being androgynous, but it’s a nice sensation when it happens. At the moment most people are quite ignorant regarding gender, but London is very good because you can be anything you want here and it’s easy to meet other people who are the same. If I was living anywhere else in the UK, I don’t think I’d be very happy with being open about who I am. Unfortunately the UK media tends to show genderqueer and trans people as some sort of freaks and people are just obsessed with the physical side of it. I don’t think people in the general public are really sympathetic at the moment because most cisgender people don’t actually know any trans person in their daily life, so all they see it’s this kind of extreme examples in the media. I think that they would probably be more open minded if they had more chances to be in contact with trans people. I believe it’s the kind of thing that society becomes gradually more used to, the same way as most gay people are now accepted by most parts of society in this country, while 20, 30 years ago it was a completely different story. Hopefully in 20 years time, trans and gender non conforming people will have the same kind of recognition and acceptance that gay people are experiencing now. At the moment I think that even people in mainstream gay scene aren’t particularly open minded about trans people, things are called LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender), but usually the T gets completely forgotten about. The queer community is a much more inclusive one because it includes all sort of different gender identities, while the mainstream gay scene seems to be way less accepting of gender differences. To me, identifying as queer means that you don’t have to put yourself in a box as straight or gay or bi, it takes into account that your sexuality my develop and change over time and so could your gender identity. It also means being attracted to people who are outside of the gender binary. It acknowledges that things are more fluid than what is generally thought. People who identify as queer just seem to be more accepting.

© Cloudy Moroni - Image from the Anima Animus photography project
i

My name is Eden Walker. I live in London now, but I’m originally from near Newcastle, in the North East. When I was five or six years old, I remember saying "I'm not a boy" to my mom and she just looked at me. I was born an hermaphrodite and surgically assigned male and, at five years old, I had no comprehension of what was going on in my life, but I just knew that I wasn't a boy. And coming from the northeast of England, as I grew older I realized that, if you're male and you're white, the last thing you needed to be was either gay or trans, you had to be heterosexual, or, you know, you're gonna be in for a world of beatings and most probably get the shit kicked out of you quite frequently. I started ignoring my gender problem, but as I got older though, keeping a lid on the gender thing became more difficult. I consider myself female, not a woman. I actually consider myself a hermaphrodite female, as opposed to hermaphrodite male. And that's taken a long, long time.

© Cloudy Moroni - Image from the Anima Animus photography project
i

My name is Tyujia. It’s a name I made up several years ago for a character in the book I’m writing. It’s fascinating to me how the subconscious plays out ideas that are almost like templates that you could be, because the original idea for the character was that she’d be a gendermorph and I feel that it was an experimental thought which I ended up manifesting in my persona and who I became. Gender is a spectrum as most things in human life and I’d say that I’m somewhere closer to the middle. I think many people do have transgender thoughts going off on the back of their minds, but for some people is never strong enough to push them and they maybe draw the line at cross dressing. If I was to pick a gender in the binary system of female or male, I’d pick female, but in reality I feel like something else and I’d pick “other”, if that was an option.

© Cloudy Moroni - Image from the Anima Animus photography project
i

My name is Liam, I’m 26, I’m from Hertfordshire, but I live in London now and I considered it more my home than my hometown. My gender identity is male, but I still have a strong connection to my trans identity because I didn’t transition until I was 23, nearly 24; I see that as a really long time living in a different gender and I think that all of these experiences play a part into the person that I am now and how I interact with the world. I identify as male, but as a trans guy too. I remember clearly in primary school one day playing football, as I’d normally do, and looking over at the group of girls on the side of the playground, who were just standing and chatting, and thinking that they were really boring and that they were the odd ones, wanting to do that, because I couldn’t understand why they would want to do so. I also felt that I was expected to be with them and behave like them while I didn’t want to and I enjoyed much more playing football and getting into fights. I was treated like one of the guys and I liked it.

© Cloudy Moroni - Image from the Anima Animus photography project
i

My name is Jay, I’m 34 and I’m originally from South Africa. I’ve been living in London for 11 years. I identify as genderqueer or androgynous although I tend to lean to masculine of centre. I recently changed my name from my very feminine birth name to a gender neutral one. This has made a big impact on my life. I feel happier and more confident with a name that reflects my gender identity. I think that there should be more education in schools about gender identity. It is difficult to change older people’s perceptions. However, I think that if you create more awareness in the younger generations children will grow up realising that not everyone fits into the gender normative heterosexual stereotype and not everybody is the same when it comes to being a girl or a boy. If you can start educating children from an early age the next generation might be more accepting.

© Cloudy Moroni - Image from the Anima Animus photography project
i

My name is Touka Voodoo, I’m 40 years old and I’m afro-persian, originally from Iran. I made the decision to modify my body when I was 36, so I lived most of my life as a butch lesbian woman, but I always felt that there was this male side of me too. One of my facial tattoos is an ancient Persian Zoroastrian mantra that says “good thoughts, good speech, good deeds”. I’m not religious, but I love the Zoroastrian concept that the goal of every human being is to be as pure as possible and that following this mantra of thinking good, only saying good things and doing good things you’d achieve ultimate purity. I don’t watch any television at all and I don’t read any newspaper because I’ve been through so much in my life that I’ve come to a place where I want to take away all negativity in my life and only concentrate on positivity. Every time I used to read the newspaper, I’d get so depressed and I would be pushed to think that there’s no hope and I don’t want to think that way. I want to concentrate on good energies.

© Cloudy Moroni - Image from the Anima Animus photography project
i

My name is Sabah, I’m 22, I’m from Brighton and my preferred pronouns are he, his, him. I firstly identify as genderqueer and secondly as a trans person. I identify as genderqueer because I don’t feel like I fit into the binary terms of male or female. I don’t really believe in the binary system of gender and that’s the reason why I don’t feel 100% comfortable calling myself a trans man. I would call myself trans. I’m quite active in the trans and feminist community and I was one of the organisers of the first ever Brighton Trans* Pride. In terms of aspirations and dreams, I want to be someone, I’d like people to listen to what I’ve got to say and hopefully to make a difference. My main focus is increasing diversity in trans communities in terms of different cultures and ethnic minorities, because it's been a struggle for me and it's something that can definitely change. It's hard for people from ethnic minorities to come out because there isn't a trans and BME (black minority ethnic) community out there - there are more hurdles for us to face. Of course, it does happen, but once people are out and have transitioned, they tend to hide and disappear, avoiding any attention and the community is never built.

© Cloudy Moroni - Image from the Anima Animus photography project
i

My name is Rory, I’m 21, I’m from Malaysia, but I’ve been in London for about two years for university. My preferred pronouns are they, their, them. I identify as genderqueer because I don’t want to confine myself to one or the other and I guess I prefer to be ambiguous. I don’t want to settle down back home because I think London is the most comfortable place for me and I’ve met a lot of queers here, while at home I’m not really myself. LGTQ people are not recognised in Malaysia and a new law against gay people has been approved quite recently, so they can throw you in jail for 20 years and give you some lashings just for your sexual orientation. When I was growing up I wasn’t either girly or boyish, I was more in-between, but back then, even though I knew I was a bit different from everyone else, I kept everything to myself. Since I moved here and I’ve had access to the queer community, I’ve been able to be more open about my gender identity and sexuality. I think unfortunately people are still quite ignorant about gender and if you’re not actually in the community, it’s unlikely that you’d be exposed to it and you won’t learn about it. Personally I didn’t know much about it myself and only once I started meeting other queer people I’ve found out a way to describe what I felt since I was little. For example I didn’t realise that you could be gender fluid before coming to London.

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