Waiting For Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things

  • Dates
    2019 - 2020
  • Author
  • Location Liverpool, United Kingdom

Waiting For Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things was made between October 2019 and June 2020 in my flat in Liverpool.

When I found out I was pregnant I knew I wanted to document this new phase of my life, and it felt natural to me to photograph myself as I predominantly appear in my personal work. I also wanted to talk honestly about the experience, so each photograph has an accompanying diaristic text of up to 30 hashtags. My husband, Tiago, also appears in the series.

I thought the project title was quite smart when I thought of it in 2019, but I never could have imagined that I would be pregnant during a pandemic. While life as we knew it changed a lot, I was grateful to have something to count down to in uncertain times.

In the end the project became not only a diary for me, but also for family and friends who never saw me heavily pregnant in real life. It also helped give me a focus during lockdown when I realised that my old normal was gone forever.

I am now working on a series called Oh Me, Oh Mãe about motherhood.

© Jocelyn Allen - Image from the Waiting For Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things photography project
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The Day After I Found Out (4+ weeks)   #SoIAmGoingThroughMyPicturesACoupleOfMonthsAfterTryingToEditTheProjectSoFar #AndApparentlyIHaveBeenWritingHashtagsForEveryShootOnTheDayApartFromThisOne #WritingThemOnTheDayIsMuchBetterButOhWell #ILikeThatIAmWearingThisDress #NotSureIfItWasAnAccidentOrOnPurpose #ButItIsTheSameDressAsTheOneIAmWearingInMyPictureCalled #ItSeemsLikeEveryoneIsPregnantExceptMe #InMySeriesCalledUlteriorMonologue #WhichIsAboutWantingToTalkAboutWantingToBePregnantButFeelingTooAwkwardTo #TheDayBeforeWeHadGoneFoodShopping #IHadBoughtCheeseThatYouAreNotSupposedToEatIfYouArePregnant #AndTwoPregnancyTests #IBoughtTheTestsAsIMyPeriodWasLateAndIWasHopeful #ButBoughtTheCheeseAsIWasNotThatHopeful #WellActuallyIWasConfusedAsItHadStartedAndStopped #IOnlyHadATinyBitOfTheCheeseAsIWasLikeWellWhatIf #AndThenTriedToDoATest #ButForgotIWasGoingToDoOne #SoIWasJustInTheBathroomForAgesDrinkingLotsOfWaterAndWaiting #FunTimes #ThenICameOutOfTheBathroomInShockIThink #AndCalledTiagoIntoTheBathroomAsWeWereAtMyNans #HeSaidHeDidNotEvenKnowWhatWasTheResultByLookingAtTheTest #WritingThisNowIHaveABitOfABump #OnTheDayITookAPictureOfMyBellyAndToBeFairIThoughtILookedABitPregnant #ButMyBellyUsuallyLookedLikeThat #AndNowIKnowMyFoodBabiesLookABitDifferentToABabyBump #ButFoodBabiesWithABabyBumpJustLookLikeABigBabyBump #AnywaysHereIWasAbout4AndABitWeeksPregnantOrSoTheFolderTellsMe #IFindItOddTheWayTheyCalculateItAsPartOfThatIWasNotPregnant

© Jocelyn Allen - Image from the Waiting For Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things photography project
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I Worry That People Will Think I Am Drunk Or Hungover If I Am Sick In The Street (8 weeks) #8Weeks #ThatMeansIHaveKnownForNearly4WeeksNow #ItIsSoWeird #IThinkIAmGettingALittleLessFreakedOutNow #ThoughCrampsAndStuffOccasionallyDoMakeMeWinceAndWorry #ThenIRememberHowOftenIHaveExperiencedThem #TheSicknessThingIsAlreadyGettingOld #IHaveBeenFeelingMoreSickInTheEvenings #IDoNotMindBeingSickInTheMorningSoMuchAsIHaveNotEatenYetAndNowJustTryToDrinkWaterBeforeEightThirty #OnceIAmSickInTheMorningIFeelFineAndNowItIsBecomingWeirdlyReassuring #LikeOkayIMustStillBePregnantAsMyBodyIsDoingThatSickThing #IJustDoNotWantToGetCaughtOutAndBeSickOutsideOfOurFlat #IWorryThatPeopleWillThinkIAmDrunkOrHungoverIfIAmSickInTheStreet #BeingSickOnATrainIsMyMainWorry #IBoughtSomeProperSickBagsYesterday #ButINeedToJustCarryOneAroundWithMe #LikeAReallyCoolKid #RegisteredForTheDentistToday #TheyWereLikeDoYouPay #ISaidIUsuallyDoButIAmPregnantAtTheMoment #AtTheMomentSeemsToBeSomethingThatISayALot #IAmStillCautious #IToldOneMorePersonThisWeekThatIAmPregnant #BecauseIFeltSoSickAndWeWereGoingToMeetTiagoAndHisFriendAndIThoughtTiagosFriendWouldSayCongratsWhenHeSawMeWhichHeDid #IUnderstandTheNotTellingLotsOfPeopleButIfItIsToProtectMeThenItIsMoreAwkwardNotTalkingAboutThingsThanTalkingAboutThem #AwkwardAsInKeepingSecretsAndKeepingThoughtsBackFromPeople #TalkingToPeopleSayingThatIAmMakingWorkAboutTryingToGetPregnant #WhichIWasDoingButNowIAmPregnantSoICanNotBeTrueAboutWhatIAmWorkingOnAtTheMoment #IAmSeeingSomeFriendsNextWeekSoIAmGuessingIWillTellThemThenAsOtherwiseIMightNotSeeThemFaceToFaceAgainForAWhileAndSeeingPeoplesReactionsIsMostOfTheFun #WhenWeWereEngagedIOnlyToldPeopleFaceToFaceBeforeWeActuallyGotMarried

© Jocelyn Allen - Image from the Waiting For Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things photography project
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I Keep Looking At The Scan As I Can Not Believe It (9 and a half weeks)   #SoWeWentToTheHospital #HadAnAppointmentButWaitedNearlyAnHour #MaybeBecauseOtherPeopleNeededLookingAtMoreUrgently #SomePeopleDidLookLikeTheyWereInALotOfPain #IThoughtIShouldHaveAFullBladderIfTheyDidAScan #SoIWasBurstingForTheToilet #TheyFinallyCalledMeAndAskedIfINeededToGoToTheLoo #SoThatWasDiscomfortForNoReasonAsItWasAnInternalExam #ThePersonExaminingMeWasBeingTestedSoThereWere3PeopleInTheRoomPlusTiago #TheyGaveMeASheetForDignityAndIApologisedForHavingHairyLegsThoughTheySaidNothingInReply #TheySaidTheyWereTryingToGiveMeDignityButIAmUsedToHavingMoreInvasiveExaminationsThatInvolveSpeculumsSoIWasNotSureWhereTheSheetWasMeantToBe #TiagoSawTheToolTheyWereGoingToUseAndIWasLikeWelcomeToAWomansWorld #ItWasNotThatBadJustABitColdAndTheWaitingRoomHadBeenSoHot #BeforeLongTheyTurnedTheScreenAndShowedUsTheLittleHumanInsideOfMe #SheSaidCanYouSeeTheFlickerThatIsTheHeartbeat #AndIStartedToCryHappyTearsAsIWasRelievedAndItWasSoSurreal #AndISaidItIsSoWeirdAsIThoughtPregnancyWasSomethingThatHappenedToOtherPeopleAndNotMeAndItIsSoWeirdSeeingThatLittleThingInsideOfMe #SheLookedAroundThoroughly #ItWasGoodThatSheHadSomeoneElseTalkingToHerAsIKnowThatTheyBothHadAGoodLookAndDidNotSeeAnyIssues #TheTesterSaidIHadTheBestOvariesThatSheHadSeenTodayAndCalledThemBeautiful #SheGaveUsAPicture #TheySaidThatIfItHappensAgainIShouldBookAnotherAppointment #AsBleedingIsNotUncommonButItStillIsNotNormal #IAmGladTheyWereEncouragingAsIWouldNotWantToBeSeenAsAnnoying #IHaveBledALittleSinceButIGuessItIsBecauseTheyHadThatToolInsideMeForAtLeast10Minutes #IThoughtIWas9WeeksTodayButTheySaidItIsMoreLike9DaysAnd4Or5Days #IAmGuessingItWillChangeAgainButThatMeansIAmNearlyAQuarterOfTheWayThroughIfAllGoesWell #TimeHasPassedQuickly #IKeepLookingAtTheScanAsICanNotBelieveIt #NanThinksItIsABoyAsSheSaysTheyCauseTroubleFromTheStart

© Jocelyn Allen - Image from the Waiting For Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things photography project
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My Due Date Got Put Back To Its Original One (Nearly 13 weeks)   #SoIHadMy12WeekScanToday #AndTheyPutMeBackToMyOriginalDueDate #WhichMeansIAmNearly13Weeks #TheAppointmentWasQuiteEarlyInTheMorning #WhichIsGoodForGettingOnWithTheDay #ButBadIfYouAreSupposedToDrink2PintsOfWaterAnHourBefore #AsWellAsEatWhenYouHaveMorningSickness #IDidNotDrinkEnoughSoHeCouldNotTakeMeasurementsProperly #ButHeCheckedThatThereWere2ArmsAnd2Legs #AndWeWereRelievedToSeeAHeartbeatAsIHaveBeenIll #TheGuyWasABitAnnoyedButHeSaidToGoDrinkWaterAndHeWouldTryToSeeMeIn40MinutesOrSo #SoIWentAndDrankALotOfWaterButNotTooMuchThatIfIWaited40MinutesThenIWouldNeedTheToiletBadly #After25MinsHeCameOutAndSaidTheNextPersonHadNotShowedUpSoWeCouldTryAgain #INeededTheToilet #HeSaysMyWombSeemsQuiteLowDownInGeneralSoINeedToDrinkMoreForScans #HeManagedToTakeTheMeasurementsAndToldMeMyNewOldDueDate #ThenIHadToHaveBloodsTakenAgain #ItHurtWayMoreThanTheOtherTimes #GoodJobIHadDrankALotOfWaterAndManagedToEat #ItCameOutQuiteEasily #TheWomanWasNice #SheSaidSomeoneCalledAndSaidTheyHadNorovirusButWantedToKnowIfTheyCouldComeInAnyways #IAmGladSheToldThemNo #IAmBoredOfBeingIllAndSick #ThisMorningWasSickNumber42 #IFeltSoSickThisEveningToo #MorningSicknessIsSoMuchBetterThanEveningSickness #IAmRelievedThatTheBabyIsFineButIAmAlsoFeelingAnxiousToo #HopefullyTheScreeningResultsAreOkay #IGuessWeJustHaveToWaitAndSee

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Maternity Pillow (16 weeks) #SoIGotThePillowAWeekAgo #IKnowItIsStillEarlyDaysInMyPregnancy #SayingMyPregnancyIsWeird #ButIFeltLikeINeededOne #AndIThoughtTheSoonerIBuyItTheMoreValueIWillGetOutOfIt #IAmStartingToGetHipPainNow #AndIStretchInTheMorningAndEveningAndUsuallyABitDuringTheDay #ButItHelpsWhenISleep #IAlsoHaveAnOverwhelmingUrgeToCuddleSomethingInMySleep #SoItAlsoHelpsWithThat #TheOnlyBadThingsIsThatItTakesUpALotOfTheBed #WellItTakesUpMyHalfButTiagoProbablyFindsItAnnoying #ButHeIsPuttingUpWithItBlessHim #SomeReviewersSaidTheirPartnerSleepsInAnotherRoomSoTheyHavePlentyOfRoomForTheirCushion #ItIsNotThatBadButWhenTiagoGetsOutOfBedIDoPushItOverABitMoreAndTakeUpMoreSpace #IProbablyDidNotNeedSuchABigUShapedOne #ButMaybeItWillBeMoreUsefulLaterOn #IThinkIWasDoingTooMuchMovingAroundDuringThisShoot #IAchedABitAfter #StrainingToSeeTheResultsOnMyScreenAndThingsLikeThat #ThenIHadADeliveryCome #ThatParticularDeliveryCompanyDoNotLikeComingUpstairsAnymore #SoIHadToLugBoxThatWasNotThatHeavyButTooHeavyForMeRightNowIAmSure #AndIAchedABitAfterwards #IWasGoingToComplainButIDoNotWantTheDriverToGetIntoTrouble #IKnowHisPayIsNotGreatAndTheyAskMeToComeDownstairsSoThatTheyCanGetOnWithOtherDeliveries #ButIThoughtHeWasComingUpstairsSoIWaitedForAges #ThenIWentDownstairsAndHeWasJustLeaningAgainstTheWallChilling #SoNoTimeWasSavedInTheEnd #OhWellIMightJustRelaxWithMyPillowUntilTheAchesPass #ButIThinkAchesAreHereToStayForALongTimeAndWillProbablyGetWorseAsMyBodyGetsPushedAndStretchedMore

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My Portuguese-British Family and Me (19 weeks) #SoBrexitFinallyHappened #IFeelComfortedKnowingThatTiagoHasBritishCitizenship #ThoughIAmJealousOfHimStillBeingAnEUCitizen #HopefullyOurChildWillBeAbleToHaveBoth #SoIDoNotNeedToWorryAboutThem #IJustHopeThatOneDayICanBeAnEUCitizenAgainOneDay #IWillProbablyNeverGetOverBrexit #IWasSatFumingAllDayOnTheDayItFinallyHappened #PeopleOnTheNewsDoNotSeemAbleToGiveAGoodEnoughReasonStill #AndItHasBeen3AndAHalfYears #WeWereInPortugalWhenTheResultsCameOut #AndItWasTheGreyestDayOfOurTrip #WeSpentAgesGettingToABeach #AndTheWeatherWasJustTerrible #WhichReflectedOurMood #TheOnlyGoodThingAboutBrexitIsThatItStoppedUsGettingTrappedInZone5OfLondon #WeThoughtAboutDidWeReallyWantToSpendOurLivesThere #WeDecidedNo #SoWeStayedInZone2AndThenTiagosJobRoleChangedAfterAWhile #IDidNotSeeMyselfLeavingLondonForAnywhereElseInTheUK #ButThenOneDayWhenIKnewMyWatfordProjectWasNearlyDoneISaidIfYouWantToMoveUpNorthForYourJobThenIAmReadyNowAndWeLeftWithin5Weeks #AndNowWeLiveInLiverpool #SoIAmGladThatWeDidNotCommitToZone5InTheEnd #YesWeAreWearingTheSameTop #MyMumBoughtMeOneAndIBoughtAnother #ButTiagoWearsOneAsTheyAreNiceAndWarm #AndItIsColdUpHereInLiverpool #ItIsAwkwardWhenWeGoOutWithJumpersOnAndRealiseWeHaveTheSameTopOnUnderneath #SoOneOfUsHasToBoilInAJumperSoWeDoNotLookSilly #BlessTiagoBecauseItIsUsuallyHimBoilingInTheJumperAsWeDoNotWantToOverheatTheBaby

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I Have Told Him Before That If He Wants To Touch The Bump Then He Has To Make Sure His Hands Are Warm (22 and a half weeks)   #IKeepGettingAdsForPregnancyPhotoShoots #SoIThoughtIBetterTakeMoreOfOurOwn #IWantedTiagoToRestHisHeadOnTheBump #ButHeThoughtISaidForHimToPutHisHandsOnIt #AndTheyWereFREEZING #IHaveToldHimBeforeThatIfHeWantsToTouchTheBumpThenHeHasToMakeSureHisHandsAreWarm #ThereIsAnOuttakeOfHimLaughingBecauseISaidNotHisHandsButHisHead #AnywaysTheBumpContinuesToGrow #IAmAtThePointNowWhereFoodCrumbsGetStuckOnTheTopOfIt #TryingToMonitorTheMovementsStillStressesMeOut #WhenICanFeelItMoveIFeelRelaxed #WhenICanNotIFeelStressed #ThisMorningTiagoWentForAShowerAndCameBackToFindMeJustLyingInBedWatchingMyBump #IAmTryingToFaffLessOnMyPhoneSoItItOneWayOfDoingItIGuess #WhoNeedsTechnologyWhenYouHaveAnOldFashionedBump #ThatIsMonitoredInAllTheNewTechnologyWays #IWasReadingAboutBraxtonHicksTheOtherDay #IHaveNeverHeardAboutItInAllOfMyLife #BasicallyItIsWhenYourBodyPracticesContractions #SoNowIAmLikeWasThatAHiccupFromTheBabyOrABraxtonHicksContraction #ItIsAFunGame #INeedToStartThinkingAboutLookingMoreIntoHypnobirthingAndStuffNow #AsTimeIsFlyingBy #AndAFriendSaidThatHerFriendGaveBirthAt30Weeks #SoIFeelLikeINeedToGetMorePrepared #INeedToStartThinkingMoreAboutPushchairsAndAllThatStuffToo #ThereIsSoMuchToChooseFromWhichIsAnnoying #WeAreGoingToABabyShowSoonWhichSoundsLikeMyIdeaOfHellButIAmHopingItWillBeUseful #TwoPeopleInTheLastWeekHaveToldMeThatILookPale #WhichHasConcernedMeButIThinkItIsJustBecauseTheWinterIsJustDraggingOnAndMyBodyHasYetToUtiliseItsTemporarySkillOfRetainingATanForLonger

© Jocelyn Allen - Image from the Waiting For Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things photography project
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Broken Blood Vessels (26 weeks)   #IHaveBeenNoticingBitsOfRedOnMyCheeksForAFewWeeks #IJustThoughtItWasToDoWithTheColdOutside #AsUsuallyMySkinGoesABitRubbishInTheWinter #OrIThoughtItWasASlightAllergicReaction #YesterdayMorningIHadABitOfRedOnMyFace #IWentToPhotographItButTiagoWasDoingExerciseInTheBitOfTheLivingRoomWhereIShoot #AndByTheTimeHeFinishedItHadFaded #IWalkedForAbout2HoursYesterday #AndTiagoCommentedThatMyFaceWasQuiteRedLastNight #ItIsThatTimeOfYearWhereYourBodyFeelsWeirdWhenTheSunGoesDown #AsItWasQuiteWarmDuringTheDay #AndThenSuddenlyItIsVeryCold #SoIThoughtItMightBeToDoWithThat #ReadingLastNightThoughApparentlyItIsACommonThing #ToDoWithIncreasedBloodFlowAndBloodVessels #SometimesTheBloodVesselsBreak #WhichExplainsWhySometimesThePatchesTakeAFewDaysToDisappear #TheSkinOnMyChinIsAlsoABitWeird #WhichIsProbablyToDoWithHormones #ApparentlyTheBabyIsTheSizeOfAnAcornSquashNow #AndAbout36cmLong #IAmAlsoAboutTwoThirdsOfTheWayThrough #TimeIsFlying #FeelLikeIShouldStartBuyingMoreThingsOffTheBabyListSoon #IKeepLookingAtThingsButDoNotWantToCommitToBuyingRightNow #IAmHopingThatWeWillGetToGoSomewhereToTryOutThePushchairWeWant #ButWeMightJustHaveToRiskItAndBuyItWithoutTrying #WillSeeHowThingsAreWhenIAmAround30Weeks #WeAreLuckyAsWeBothHaveJobsThatSeemRelativelySecure #WhoKnowsHowLongThingsAreGoingToGoOnFor  

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It Is Odd That Quite Possibly None Of My Friends Or Family (Besides Tiago) Will See Me Heavily Pregnant In Real Life (29 weeks)   #PeopleWarnedUsWhenWeWereTryingToGetPregnantThatWeWouldNeverBeAbleToLeaveTheHouseWhenWeWantedAgain #IRememberShruggingAtTheTimeAndSayingItDidNotBotherMeMuch #IHaveAlwaysLikedBookingTicketsForThingsMoreThanGoingToTheThings #IBookTicketsAndIGetExcited #ThenOnTheDayTheEventComesRoundIAmAlwaysFeelingTired #IDoEnjoyEventsButIAmNotThatBothered #NowIHaveBeenAtHomeFor3WeeksOtherThanGoingForWalks #AndWhenRestrictionsFinallyLiftIWillNotBeRushingToGoOutForAnythingOtherThanWalks #TheBabyMayHaveBeenBornAlreadyOrItMayHaveNot #EitherWayIDoNotEnvisionGoingAnywhereWithTheBabyBesidesWalks #ItIsOddThatQuitePossiblyNoneOfMyFriendsOrFamilyWillSeeMeHeavilyPregnantInRealLife #EveryWeekIFeelLikeTheBabyIsGrowingALot #IDidNotBotherBuyingAnyMoreMaternityClothesThanTheOnesIGotWhenIWas15Weeks #WhichWereMainlyBrasADressAPairOfLeggingsAndACardigan #NowIAmJustAtHomeSoIDefinitelyDoNotNeedToGetAnythingElse #YesterdayISpentTheWholeDayLookingAtBabyStuff #WeAreJustGoingToHaveToRiskItAndBuyStuffWithoutTrying #IWouldRatherJustBuyEverythingSoonerRatherThanLaterSoWeDoNotHaveToWorry #IAmThinkingThatThereIsNoPointBuyingABabyBassinetForThePushchairAsWeWillNotProbablyUseItMuch #IWouldRatherJustCarryTheBabyInTheBeginning #ParticularlyToAvoidAnyoneTryingToPeerIntoTheBassinetInsteadOfKeepingTheirDistance #WeStillDoNotKnowIfItIsAGirlOrABoy #IOftenForgetItHasAGenderWhichIsWeirdToSay #IJustReferToThemAsTheBabyOrThem #WhereasTiagoUsuallyStartsTalkingToTheBumpWithMyBabyBoy #AndThenICoughInANonCovidWayAndHeSaysOrMyBabyGirl #HeStillWantsToFindOutBeforeTheBirth #IWantToWait #IAmSupposedToBeHavingMoreScansButIHaveNotReceivedALetterRecently #AndIDoNotFeelLikeChasingThemUpAsIWouldRatherAvoidGoingToTheHospitalIfICan

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Tiago Says It Reminds Him Of Pictures Where People Are Holding A Globe (29 weeks) #IKeepWakingUpInTheNight #ForACoupleOfNightsItWasBefore2am #ButLastNightTiagoGaveMeAnUpperBackMassageAndIDidNotWakeUpUntil4am #SoMaybeItWasTheMassageOrMaybeItWasACoincidence #IHadSomeHipPainWhenIWokeUp #ThinkItWasBecauseIHadLayOnOneSideSinceFallingAsleep #TurningOverIsBecomingMoreOfAChore #AsWellAsBendingDownToPickThingsUp #WhilstHeMassagedMeWeWatchAHypnobirthingVideoAboutDueDates #HopefullyNowTiagoWillStopTalkingAboutMyDueDateLikeTheBabyIsActuallyComingThatDay #AsApparentlyOnly4PercentArriveOnTheirDueDate #ThoughSomethingLike85PercentOfFirstTimeMumsGiveBirthAfter40Weeks #ItSaidToStopTalkingLikeMyBabyIsComingByTheDueDate #AndBeMoreLikeFromTheDueDate #ToBeFairIKnewThat42WeeksIsNormal #ItWillComeWhenItIsReady #IHaveBeenTryingToGetTiagoToDoExerciseVideosForAFewWeeksNow #ForTheLastCoupleOfDaysHeHasBeenDoingMineWithMe #WhichIsGoodAsIHaveBeenDoingTheSameFewVideosForMonthsNow #AndINeedABitOfMotivation #HeSaidHeSleptWellLastNightAndHeThinksItWasBecauseOfTheBedtimeYogaVideoThatWeDid #WeWillSeeHowLongHeDoesThemWithMe #IThinkHeMightGetBoredOfMeDoingTheSameOnes #WeNearlyPutAPauseOnTryingToGetPregnantAsHeWasMeantToBeTheBestManAtAWeddingThisSummer #WeDecidedNotToAsWeWereLikeWellItHasNotHappenedYetSoItMightNotAnyways #ObviouslyWeWereNotExpectingAPandemic #NowTheWeddingIsPostponedUntilNextYear #WhichIsAnnoyingForThemButGoodForMeAsWeWillBeAbleToGoAsAFamily #AndIWasABitWorriedAboutPotentiallyBeingHomeAloneWithANewborn #AsItIsTwoFlightsAwayAndItIsBadEnoughDoingThatSometimesWithJustTheTwoOfUs

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Eating Almond Butter Is My Daily Highlight Right Now (29 and a half weeks)   #TheLastCoupleOfWeeksIHaveNoticedThatIHaveHadAFewBadEvenings #LastWeekIWasCrankyTwoNightsInARowAndLastNightIJustFeltDown #IFeltDownInTheEveningProbablyACoupleOfWeeksAgo #IWasCryingAndIDidNotReallyKnowWhy #IJustFeltOverwhelmed #IGuessINeverExpectedToBePregnantDuringAPandemic #IFeelMoreTiredInTheAfternoonThanTheEvenings #ButMaybeByTheEveningsIAmMoreMentallyTired #AfterISleepIWakeUpFeelingFine #IThinkTheMassageMakingMeSleepLaterWasJustACoincidence #LastNightIWokeUpAt1amThen4amThen6am #AtLeastNowIDoNotHaveToWorryAboutCommuting #AndTheWakingUpInTheNightIsPreparationForWhatIsToCome #IFeltDownLastNightAgainBecauseIThinkIWasOverwhelmed #IWantToChatWithPeopleButIJustFindItKindOfExhausting #SeeingMessagesToReplyToMakesMeFeelABitAnxious #PeopleAskingMeWhenIAmDue #IDoJustNotWantItToGetToTheTimeWhenIAmDueAndBeGettingLotsOfMessagesAskingMeForBabyNews #IWillTellPeopleWhenIAmReady #WhichCouldBeSoonAfterTheBirthOrItMightNot #SoIfYouHaveAskedAndIHaveToldYouInAnObviousOrVagueWayPleaseDoNotBugMe #IfYouHaveNotAskedThenPleaseDoNotAskMe #MyHighlightOfTheDayAtTheMomentIsWhenIEatAnAppleAndABananaWithAlmondButter #ThisHasBeenMyDailyHighlightForAtLeastAWeek #IReadThatEatingNutsInYourFirstTrimesterIsReallyGoodForTheBaby #ButICouldNotEatThemAsIHadAnAversionToThem #HopefullyItWillHelpABitNowButMaybeIAmEatingTooMuchAndItHasTheOppositeEffect #IAmJustEatingItBecauseILoveIt #WeCouldNotGetBananasTheOtherDayButTiagoGotSomeToday #IEnjoyThisTreatMoreThanOurWalksAsWeWalkTheSameRouteAllTheTimeAndPeopleStressMeOutAsTheyDoNotSeemToKnowWhat2MetresIs

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When A Shoot Is So Bad That You Accidentally Refer To It As A Photosh*t (30 and a half weeks)   #LastNightIDreamedThatIWasAtAPlaceThatHadAnOldFashionedBathroom #AndInsteadOfToiletPaperTheyUsedBiscuitsThatWereACrossBetweenBourbonsAndChocolateDigestives #IThoughtThisIsABadCaseOfThrushWaitingToHappen #IThinkIHadTheDreamAsOtherPregnantFriendsHaveBeenSayingTheyAreGoingToTheToiletALot #AndIHaveSaidToMakeSureTheyDoKegelExercises #IMadeSureIDidMoreKegelExercisesYesterday #AndIDidNotHaveToGetUpToGoToTheLooOnceInTheNight #IAteAFewChocolateDigestivesYesterdayAndFeltBad #SoThatProbablyExplainsTheBiscuits #WeOrderedTheCotAndPushchairTheOtherDay #TheyWouldNotAcceptTiagosCreditCardSoWeUsedMyDads #TheyWereTryingToDeliverThemToMyParentsHouse #HopefullyItIsFixedNowAndTheyWillBeDeliveredHereTomorrow #IThinkTheGeneralPostIsVeryInfrequentNow #IFeelBadBuyingSoMuchStuffOnline #ButItIsNecessary #IStillNeedToLookAtGettingTheLastFewThings #ButIFindComparingItemsAndReviewsTiring #IShouldAimToCompleteItAllByTheTimeIAm32ishWeeksIfICan #JustSoICanStopThinkingAboutIt #IAmJustSatOnTheBedWritingThis #ICouldEasilyHaveANapNow #ButIWillGetUpAndDoOtherStuff #AndMaybeHaveOneLater #IKeepWakingUpAtHalf6 #IAmGoingToHaveABananaWithAlmondButterThenDoMoreWork #WellIDidAShootThisMorningWrappedInMyDuvetOnTheBed #ItWasSoBadThatWhenIToldTiagoAboutItIAccidentallyReferredToItAsAPhotoshit #SoIReshotMyselfInTheLivingRoom #IShouldHaveJustMovedRoomsThisMorningButICouldNotBeBotheredToMoveAllMyStuffAndIWasHopingAPictureMightBeGoodEnough    

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Things Seem A Bit More Real After My Midwife Appointment Today (33 weeks)   #WellTheBigNewsIsThatHomeBirthsHaveBeenUnsuspended #ThoughMyMidwifeSaidThatThingsMightChangeAgain #IDoNotKnowHowTheUKWillBeWhenIGiveBirth #ButIFeelABitMoreRelaxedNow #KnowingThatWeCanTakeOurTimeAndTiagoCanBeAroundTheWholeTime #IfIHadToGiveBirthWithoutHimIAmSureICouldDoIt #ButItIsMoreThatTheIsHeAllowedIsHeNotWhereIsHeThoughtsWillBeLessPresentIfIHaveAHomeBirth #ObviouslyThereAreRisksAndIMightHaveToGoToHospitalAnywaysButIfWeCanStayInOurFlatThenItIsNice #ThoughIStillWorryAboutWhatTheNeighboursWillThink #ThingsFeelABitMoreRealNowAfterMyLatestAppointment #WeHaveAListOfThingsThatWeNeedToGet #AndSheTalkedALotAboutTheSnacksAndDrinksThatMightBeGoodToHelpMe #IAmExcitedAboutSnacksThoughSheSaidThatAfterAWhileIWillNotWantToEat #SheAskedMeIfIAmGoingToSetMyCameraUp #IAmGladSheAskedAsIHopeToButIDoNotWantItToBeTooMuchOfADistraction #ShameThereIsNotAnotherMeToDocumentIt #IImagineThatIWillNotGetThePhotosIWantSoIDoNotWantToStressAboutIt #MaybeINeedToTeachTiagoSomeSkillsButAtTheSameTimeIWantHimToJustBeWithMe #ItIsFunnyAsTheMidwifeHasBeenTheOnlyPersonIHaveHadSuperCloseContactWithSinceLockdownBesidesTiago #SheIsSendingSomeoneElseForMyNextAppointmentJustSoIHaveMetAnotherMidwifeAsSheMayNotBeAtTheBirth #SheHadAGoodFeelOfTheBump #ItIsCurrentlyHeadDownWithItsBackToMyBelly #AgainSheSaidMyCoreIsStrong#ButSheDidNotCommentOnMyMuscleSeparationSoItCanNotBeThatBad #IGotUpEarlyToExerciseAndEatAndDrinkPlentyAndMyBloodCameOutFineForTheTest #TiagoJustGotBackFromTheSupermarket #ItIsABitSadHowMuchIMissGoingToBuyFood #CravingsAreTotallyPointlessTheseDays #IHaveFoundMyselfWastingAGoodHalfAnHourLookingAtFoodOnTakeawaySites #IDoGetABitExcitedSeeingWhatTiagoPullsFromTheShoppingBagsThough #TodayHeHadAReducedCheesecakeAndGotMeMyFavouriteChocolateOatMilk  

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The Bump & The Beard (33 weeks)   #ItIsFunnyHowDifferentTiagoLooksToTheOriginalThatWeTookAt22AndAHalfWeeks #IHaveNeverSeenHimWithThisMuchFacialHairBefore #HeSaysHeHasNeverHadThisMuchFacialHairBefore #HeMightGetRidOfItSoon #ItIsFunnySeeingHowMuchBiggerMyBumpIsToo #YesterdayWeWalkedADifferentWayAsOurWalksHaveBeenGettingShorter #WalkingDownTheSameRoadAllTheTimeIsSoDemotivating #WeWalkedInTheDirectionThatIsMorePopular #TiagoIsTheOneWhoGoesOutAndDoesFoodShoppingSoHeIsUsedToBeingAroundAndSeeingMorePeople #WhereasIHaveBecomeABitScaredOfPeople #SoItWasGoodToSeeMorePeopleAndEnjoyALongerWalkAndChangeOfScenery #SomePeopleStillWalkABitTooCloseForMyLiking #ItIsQuiteObviousThatIAmPregnantNowIfYouAreWalkingTowardsMe #MaybeTheyThinkThatBecauseIAmPregnantThatIAmNotLikelyToHaveCovidAndGiveItToThem #ButIDoNotKnowIfTheyHaveItOrNotSoIWouldPreferIfTheyKeptTheirDistance #ItIsWeirdImaginingAWorldPostAllOfThis #MaybeItWillFeelEasyButIThinkRealisticallyIWillBeEmergingFromThisWithABaby #AndSoTheOutsideWorldWillBeADifferentExperienceForMeAnyways #ItIsGoingToBeOddNotHavingTiagoAroundAllTheTime #IHaveBeenSpoiltAsHeHasBeenMaking99PercentOfTheMeals #ITendToJustMakeCheeseAndPickleSandwiches #ItWillBeWeirdHavingLunchByMyself #WellIKeepThinkingAndSayingByMyselfButIWillHaveTheBabyAround #IPictureMyselfWithTheBabyButItStillFeelsSoFarAway #ThoughTimeIsMovingQuick #INeedToStartPreparingMoreAgain #IWasDoingWellAndThenTheNCTCourseKnackeredMeOut #SoINeedToGetBackIntoReadingMoreThingsAndBuyingTheLastBitsAndBobs #IAskedTiagoIfHeWantedToSayAnything #HeJustSaidThatHeIsKeenToMeetTheBaby

© Jocelyn Allen - Image from the Waiting For Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things photography project
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I Know It Does Not Look Like It But I Am Wearing Pants (34 weeks)   #TimeIsFlyingBy #LastNightIHadTheWorstNightsSleepInAges #JustWakingUpConstantlyAndHavingWeirdDreams #IPlannedToHaveALieInButOfCourseIWokeUpEarlyAndCouldNotFallBackToSleep #ItWasGettingLateAndIHadNotFeltTheBabyMovingSoIWasGettingWorried #EventuallyIFeltMovementsAndWasRelieved #LastNightTiagoFellAsleepSpooningMyBump #ISawTheCarSeatTodayAndFreakedOutALittleThinkingWhyDoWeHaveACarSeat #IMomentarilyForgotIWasPregnant #WhichIsWeirdAsItDefinitelyIsGettingUncomfortableNow #TiagoSaidThatHeHasNoticedOnOurDailyWalksThatIAmStartingToWalkABitWeird #IAskedHimDoYouMeanIAmWaddling #HeSaidYes #IDoNotThinkItIsVeryPronouncedButIGuessItMustBeEnoughForTiagoToNotice #IProbablyWouldNotHaveChosenToBePregnantDuringAPandemic #ButAtTheSameTimeIFeelLikeIAmNotMissingOutOnStuff #AndItIsNiceToHaveSomeKindOfCountdown #AsIThinkALotOfPeopleAreJustWaitingForThingsToChange #IThoughtMyProjectTitleWasSmartWhenICameUpWithItEarlyOn #NowItWouldBeMoreLike #WaitingForThingsInATimeWhenEveryoneIsWaitingForSomething #ButIGuessTheOldTitleKindOfAppliesToOurEra #UnlessThingsWillNeverBeTheSameAgain #WellLikeIHaveSaidBeforeThingsWillNeverBeTheSameAgainForMeAnywaysOnceTheBabyIsBorn #ThingsWillBeDifferentForTiagoTooButNotToTheSameExtent #HisBodyWillBeTheSameAndHisWorkShouldStillBeFairlyTheSame #BeforeIWasPregnantWeWerePrettyMuchTheSameSize #SameHeightSameShoeSizeICouldWearHisClothesApartFromTrousersWhichICouldFitInButWereALittleTooTight #IAmJustHappyThatIAmStillExercisingAndIThinkStartingWhenIWasMoreAbleToHelped #TheSameVideosThatIHaveBeenDoingForMonthsAreGettingHarderToDoNow

© Jocelyn Allen - Image from the Waiting For Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things photography project
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Yes, That Is Dried Colostrum (35 weeks)   #InMyHeadIHaveBeenCountingDownTo42Weeks #AsTheySayThatUsuallyYourFirstBabyArrivesLate #ButTalkingToPeopleLatelyEveryonesStorySeemsToInvolveTheBabyComingEarly #SoIGuessNowThereIsAChanceThatEveryShootForThisProjectCouldBeTheLast #BabyDefinitelySeemsMoreActiveTheseDays #SoMaybeItHasJustGotToThePointWhereItsMovementsAreNotShelteredByThePlacentaSoMuch #LastNightIWasHavingALotOfBraxtonHicksContractionsIThink #SomeWereQuitePainful #WhenBabyHiccupsItIsQuiteUncomfortable #ThisMorningTiagoPointedToAWetPatchOnMyDress #MyRightBoobHadLeaked #ItHasBeen6WeeksSinceMyLeftBoobFirstLeaked #IThinkOneOfThemHasLeakedSinceButICanNotRememberWhichOneAndItDidNotSeemThatSignificant #TodayItDidForSomeReason #SoMaybeMyRightBoobHasLeakedBefore #IHaveAScratchOnMyBellyWhichIMustHaveDoneWithAFingerNail #TiagoAlsoHadToPointThatOutAsICouldNotSeeIt #YesterdayIWentOutByMyselfForTheFirstTimeSinceBeforeLockdown #IWentForAWalkWhilstTiagoWentToTheSupermarket #IFeltSelfConsciousByMyselfAsINoticedPeopleStaringAtMyBump #IWalkedOnTheSideOfThePathAndYetPeopleWouldPassSuperCloseByMe #IWasOnThePhoneTheWholeTimeSoItMadeItNotSoBad #WeFinallyGotSomeWholemealFlourSoIPlanToMakeSomePancakes #IHaveNotHadThemInSoLong #IDidNotAskTiagoToBuyMyFavouriteChocolateOatMilkAsIThoughtIShouldHaveAWeekWithoutIt #ButNowIReallyWantSome #IThinkLockdownIsStartingToGetToMeALittleMoreNow #IJustWantToSpendAWeekendAtMyNansAndKeepHerCompany #ButItIsLookingLikeItWillNotHappenBeforeTheBabyIsBornDueToRulesAndAll #AndOnceTheBabyIsBornIDoNotThinkItWillBeAGoodIdeaForABit

© Jocelyn Allen - Image from the Waiting For Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things photography project
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It’s Less Than A Month Until My Due Date (36 weeks)   #IJustLookedInTheMirrorAtMyBumpAndWasShockedByTheSizeOfIt #IDoubtItHasGrownMuchSinceILookedAtItThisMorning #SoIAmNotSureWhyIGasped #IAmNotInDenialThatICouldHaveABabyIn6WeeksOrLess #IJustStillCanNotGetMyHeadAroundTheIdea #MeGivingBirthToABaby #ItIsSuchAnOddThought #WeStartedAPostNatalCourseThisWeek #AsIDoNotFeelPreparedToLookAfterASmallHuman #AndItIsAmazingHowLittleIKnowAboutPostBirthAndWhatToExpect #NoOneTellsYouThisStuff #INeedToTakeItEasyForAtLeastTwoWeeks #TheySayOneWeekInBedAndOneWeekOnTheSofa #IFeelLikeIAmKeepingFairlyActiveDespiteTheLockdownAndEverything #SoWeWillSeeHowItIsAfterTheBirth #IDoNotWantToDoTooMuchAndHaveALongerRecovery #DoingTheseCoursesDuringAPandemicIsWeirdAsCertainThingsDoNotApplyAtTheMoment #IHaveBeenReadingAboutNegativePostBirthCareDueToThePandemic #IAmHappyWithTheCareAndTreatmentThatIHaveReceivedWhilstBeingPregnant #ThoughIHadAllMyScansBeforeLockdown #IJustHopeThatTheBirthAndAfterPeriodGoAsSmoothlyAsPossible #InOtherNewsAsWeKnowWeWillProbablyNotBeGoingAnywhereThisSummerWeHaveStartedToBuySomeThingsToMakeOurFlatComfier #LikeThisBigBeanBagThatIAmLyingOnHere #ITalkAboutWonderingWhenIWillSeeMyFamilyAgainAndWhenTheyWillMeetTheBaby #ButTiagosFamilyWillHaveToWaitLonger #ThisWillBeTheFirstSummerSinceWeMetIn2015ThatWeWillNotBeVisitingHisFamily #IJustWantToGoSwimmingInTheSeaSoBadly #IAmGuessingThatWeWillNotMakeItToPortugalThisYear #IAlwaysWakeUpAt3AMButFor2NightsThisWeekItTookMe2HoursToFallBackToSleep #WeHaveImprovisedABlackoutBlindWithABlackBedSheetToSeeIfItHelpsMeSleepMore

© Jocelyn Allen - Image from the Waiting For Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things photography project
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The Baby Just Seems So Protected And Safe In My Belly (36 and a half weeks)   #IStillHaveNotBeenSleepingGreat #WeOrderedSomeNewPillowsWhichArrivedYesterday #ThoughtWeMightAsWellWithNoPlansToGoAnywhereThisSummer #AndApparentSleepDeprivationAroundTheCorner #ThePillowDoesFeelGreatButItDoesNotFixMyProblemOfHavingToWakeUpToTurnOver #NotSureIfTheLackOfSleepIsDownToMyBodyTryingToPrepareMeForFutureLackOfSleep #ThoughTalkingToOtherPregnantWomenIAmNotTheOnlyOne #OurFavouriteFalafelPlaceHasReopenedSoWeGotTakeawayForLunch #ThatWillProbablyBeTheHighlightOfTheWeekSoItSeemedWorthMentioning #OtherwiseIGuessWeAreJustApproachingTheWaitingGameNow #ItIsBabysDueMonthThoughItCouldComeNextMonth #ABabyFromTheNCTGroupIsDueTodayAndAnotherIsDueTomorrow #TheyAreTheFirstOnesThatAreDue #ItWillBeInterestingToSeeWhenAll8BabiesAreBorn #EarlyOnDateOrLate #IHopeMineComesAfterTheDueDate #JustToGiveMeMoreTimeToGetMyHeadAroundItAllAndWindDownABitMore #ParticularlyAsIStillHaveWorkOnUntilTheWeekBeforeMyDueDate #ThoughIKnowBabyWillComeWhenBabyWantsTo #IThinkWeAreReadyEnoughThough #WatchingThisPostNatalCourseIsReallyUsefulAsIStillFeelLikeIHaveSoMuchLearn #AndIKnowIWillKeepLearningEveryDayOnceTheBabyArrivesAnyways #TheBabyJustSeemsSoProtectedAndSafeInMyBelly #ICanFeelItHiccupping #ItGetsEverythingItWantsOnTapRightNow #TheWholeFourthTrimesterThingMakesSense #TheBabyNotNeedingTotalQuietAndWantingToBeCloseEtc #LikeIHaveSaid100TimesBeforeAtLeastThePandemicAllowsUsMoreTimeToNotRushBackToNormalLife #ThoughOurNormalLifeTheseDaysIsJustBeingAtHomeForAtLeast23HoursADayReally #IProbablyWillJustTakeTheBabyOutForWalksAroundLiverpoolInTheBeginning

© Jocelyn Allen - Image from the Waiting For Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things photography project
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Bump Is Definitely Droopier (37 weeks)   #IDecidedYesterdayThatWeShouldRemakeThisPicture #IWasNotSureIfIShouldLeaveItABitLonger #ButObviouslyIDoNotKnowWhenIMayGiveBirth #IThoughtMaybeThereWouldNotBeThatMuchChangeSince33Weeks #ButBumpIsDefinitelyDroopier #ShameThatWeDidNotDoItAround27AndAHalfWeeksToo #ItCouldHaveBeenAPictureThatWeRemadeOnceAMonthIfWeHadThoughtAboutIt #TiagoLooksALittleDifferentButNotMuch #HeHasTrimmedHisBeardBetweenTheLastRemakeAndThisOne #IStillNeedToTryToGiveHimAHaircutThoughIAmNervousToo #HeHadHisBirthdayThisWeek #ToCelebrateWeOrderedIndianTakeawayThatLastedFor3MealsEach #ThereWasASmallChanceThatHeCouldHaveSharedHisBirthdayWithBaby #ButIAmGladThatTheBabyHasNotArrivedYet #IJustAskedHimHowHeFeelsAboutItPotentiallyBeingHisLastBirthdayWithoutBeingAFather #HeSaysHeDoesNotCareMuchAboutHisBirthday #HeLooksForwardToHavingAnotherHumanAroundAndBeingAFather #WatchingThemGrowAndBeingResponsibleForTheirEducation #IThinkHeIsExcitedToRelaxWithTheBabyOnHisChest #LastNightIWasAwakeBetween3And6 #TiagoStirredAtAround6SoIToldHimICouldNotSleep #SoHeSaidToPutMyHeadOnHisChest #IFellAsleepPrettyQuickly #BeforeIWasPregnantIRarelyFellAsleepLikeThat #IHadToBeSuperSuperTired #PeopleTalkALotAboutTheBenefitsOfTheBabyBeingOnYourChest #ButApparentlyItWorksWellForMeToo #AsThereHaveBeenAFewTimesLatelyThatIHaveFallenAsleepLikeThat #MaybeItIsSomeEvolutionaryThingAndToDoWithFeelingSafe #IWokeUpWhenMyEarStartedToHurtThough

© Jocelyn Allen - Image from the Waiting For Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things photography project
i

We Ended Up Waiting For Something To Happen In A Time When Everyone Was Waiting For Something (0 weeks)   #SoOurBabyArrivedTwoWeeksEarly #MyWatersBrokeWhenIWasInBedAtOneThirtyInTheMorningAndAtFirstIThoughtIHadWetMyself #WeWentToTheHospitalForMonitoring #TurnedOutThatBabyWasBreech #TheyWantedMeToHaveACSectionButISaidNoAsIDidNotFancyTheRecoveryTime #TheyBasicallyPutMeOnAClockAndSaidIfIWasNotInEstablishedLabourBy6PMThenIWasHavingACSectionAndIThoughtChallengeeAccepted #IKnewIfIGotStressedOutThenMySurgesWouldNotComeOrWouldBeStopped #IDancedBehindMyCurtainInTheWardAndIBreathedThroughEachSurge #AtSomePointIWasExaminedAndAllowedToGoToTheDeliverySuiteAndTiagoCouldComeInTheRoom #TheyPutACannulaInMyHandAndPutTheDateAndTimeOnIt #ExactlyTwoHoursLaterOurBabyWasBorn #WeDidNotKnowIfItWasABoyOrAGirl #TheyShowedMeAndAtFirstAllICouldSeeWasThePlacentaCordAndIThoughtItWasABoy #ButItWasAGirlWhoIWillReferToAsB #IHadUsedATensMachineForTheFirstHalfOfLabourAndByTheSecondHalfItJustAnnoyedMe #AfterwardsIFeltHighFromHavingJustFocusedOnMyBreathing #AFewPeopleHaveSaidToMeThatTheyDidNotKnowVaginalBreechDeliveryWasPossible #AnywaysIThoughtIShouldConcludeThisProjectWithSomethingThatReferencesOurBabyB #IPlannedToGetAPictureOfTheCordStumpAttachedToHer #ButIJustDidNotGetRoundToItAndThenYesterdayMorningWeRealisedItHadGoneAndWereTryingToFindItInHerClothes #IGuessItFallingOffSignifiesTheCompleteEndOfHerPhysicalAttachmentToMe #IWasAboutToSayTheEndOfMyBodyFeedingHerBodyWithNutrients #ButIAmBreastfeedingAndItDependsHowYouDefinePhysicalAttachment #AnywaysIThoughtThisWasANiceWayToEndTheProjectAndSayThatSheIsHereWhilstNotShowingHer #ObviouslyIWasAnxiousALotDuringThePregnancyButItWasTheCompleteUnknownForMe #INeverWouldHaveThoughtThatIWouldBePregnantDuringAPandemicLetAloneThatOneWouldHappen #NowSheHasBeenBornIHaveKindOfForgottenAboutItAndIAmTryingMyBestToSleepWhilstFeelingOnTopOfTheWorld #InTheEndWeEndedUpWaitingForSomethingToHappenInATimeWhenEveryoneWasWaitingForSomethingToHappen #WeAlsoWaitedForHerCordStumpToFallOffSoWeCouldBathHerSoIGuessThatIsAnotherReasonToEndItLikeThis #HopeItDoesNotGrossYouOutTooMuch  

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