THIS UNIVERSE

Dates

2020 - Ongoing
Author

Juan Brenner
Recognition

Main Prize Shortlist - PhMuseum 2022 Photography Grant

I am in the process of developing a new body of work, one that talks about memories and the theory of the multiverse.

My family history, specially a very complex relationship with my father, comes into play when trying to heal many years of mental instability, substance abuse and depression.

If a specific image looks different every time I pull it from my mental “hard disk”, is it the same memory?, did it happen just once or did it happen many times?, or am I visiting a different universe where everything ended up being different?

I'm trying to approach the idea of the "Archive" in a very physical way, Images are not enough for me to reconstruct important moments in my past; being able to touch and manipulate unknown and surprising objects that hold so much energy is a perfect way to create a fictional series of vignettes.

Quantum physics and mathematics are part of my research, an unconscious need to manipulate the past, fix the present and re-shape the future becomes evident in these photo exercises.

Revisiting the same memory over and over is something I do obsessively, mental images stored in my brain keep changing and evolving. I’m really interested in how details and the visual scenario of the past changes every time I go there; a series of incredible coincidences and accidents have made these images possible.

© Juan Brenner - Image from the THIS UNIVERSE photography project

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Memory Metaphor #1 (This Universe) In this case, the statues represent stacked up memories, good ones; happy ones. All of them feel the same and look really similar, but I'm more interested the subtle details that make them different.

© Juan Brenner - Nicole as my mother at 23 (In a parallel universe where my parents never met)

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Nicole as my mother at 23 (In a parallel universe where my parents never met)

© Juan Brenner - Image from the THIS UNIVERSE photography project

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Memory Cluster #1 (This Universe) -1. Infant bulb nasal aspirator (late 1980s) -2. Ektachrome mounted color slide, with a casual image of my parents wedding (1960) -3. Surgical magnifying glasses (early 1970s) -4. Ektachrome mounted color slide, with a formal portrait of my parents wedding and my aunt as the ring bearer (1960) -5. Broken thermometer, broken by me to steal the mercury inside (mid 1980s) My father (a doctor) was a hoarder, some of my first memories are hiding from my parents and going through endless drawers filled up with objects and “knick-knacks”. He died 15 years ago, soon after his passing I went to his house and filled up a big plastic box with as many objects as I could. I never opened that box until a few months ago, I am cataloging all those objects and photographing “clusters” that reconstruct my childhood and a very intense relationship with Angel; my dad.

© Juan Brenner - Image from the THIS UNIVERSE photography project

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My father's mummified monkey pet. (This Universe) When my parents divorced I was 10, and the only child living in the household, after my mother and I left, my father adopted a spider monkey and developed a very close relation with the primate. My older brothers would joke that my father loved the monkey more than me. Almost 35 years later I accidentally bumped into the poorly made taxidermy at my cousin's house. My dad could not take care of the animal anymore as the conditions in his house were not optimal, my cousin (a doctor) took care of the animal until it died.

© Juan Brenner - Image from the THIS UNIVERSE photography project

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Far Away Impossible Place #1, Landscape and Train (This Universe) My dad had a list of "Far Away Impossible Places" he thought he would never be able to visit. He would make small Chinese ink paintings copied from books and magazines, I'm in the process of tracking one of those paintings. This image was shot in the Scottish Highlands, one of those places my dad dreamt of visiting one day.

© Juan Brenner - Image from the THIS UNIVERSE photography project

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Gold Covered Tooth found in my father's belongings. (This Universe) I've been obsessed with gold grills and metal covered teeth, for the last 5 years a lot of my work has revolved around understanding the dynamics of economics in the mayan highlands and the use of metal as an example of power. Finding this object in my father's belongings feels like a message; a gift from another universe.

© Juan Brenner - My father s grave as I found it exactly 10 years after his death, on my first time visiting. (This Universe)

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My father s grave as I found it exactly 10 years after his death, on my first time visiting. (This Universe)

© Juan Brenner - Image from the THIS UNIVERSE photography project

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Memory Metaphor #2 (This Universe) In this case the deflated chewing gum balloons represent the old abandoned memories that have been chewed, used and rejected in my brain.

© Juan Brenner - Don Carlitos as my dad at 86 (In a parallel universe where my father didn't die)

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Don Carlitos as my dad at 86 (In a parallel universe where my father didn't die)

© Juan Brenner - Fig tree planted by my father (In a parallel universe where he was able to pursue a hobby in floriculture )

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Fig tree planted by my father (In a parallel universe where he was able to pursue a hobby in floriculture )

© Juan Brenner - Image from the THIS UNIVERSE photography project

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Memory Cluster #2 (This Universe) Master of The Universe dolls, stacked on a pyramid, existing in a fantasy landscape. These dolls looking away represent memories that are hard to reach, the only doll that is recognizable acts as a very fresh and vivid moment in my life.

© Juan Brenner - Image from the THIS UNIVERSE photography project

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Far Away Impossible Place #2, ode to alcohol; found object (This Universe) My dad had a list of "Far Away Impossible Places" he thought he would never be able to visit. He would make small Chinese ink paintings copied from books and magazines, I'm in the process of tracking one of those paintings. This image was shot in the Scottish Highlands, one of those places my dad dreamt of visiting one day.

© Juan Brenner - Image from the THIS UNIVERSE photography project

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Memory Cluster #3 (This Universe) -1. Q-tip holder (early 1980s) -2. Surgical scissors used as a mustache trimmer by my father (late 1970s) -3. Souvenir silver money clip with precolumbian figurine and the word “Colombia” (early 1970s) -4. Broken Datsun SSS emblem with fingerprint, possibly my father’s (late 1960s) -5. Expired cold medicine pills (late 1990s) My father (a doctor) was a hoarder, some of my first memories are hiding from my parents and going through endless drawers filled up with objects and “knick-knacks”. He died 15 years ago, soon after his passing I went to his house and filled up a big plastic box with as many objects as I could. I never opened that box until a few months ago, I am cataloging all those objects and photographing “clusters” that reconstruct my childhood and a very intense relationship with Angel; my dad.

© Juan Brenner - Image from the THIS UNIVERSE photography project

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Memory Metaphor #3 (This Universe) These old forgotten citric fruits have been stored for many days, their color is really similar and the circular shape make is difficult to difference between them. Just as memories, they tend to camouflage in my head.

© Juan Brenner - Possible collision of two parallel universes. (This Universe)

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Possible collision of two parallel universes. (This Universe)

© Juan Brenner - Unknown woman that looks like my mother traveling by train. (This Universe)

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Unknown woman that looks like my mother traveling by train. (This Universe)

© Juan Brenner - Image from the THIS UNIVERSE photography project

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Memory Metaphor #4 (This Universe) These rotten natural and fake flowers gathered from a cemetery, represent the memories we cherish the most, those too will change and decompose; it's impossible to stop the process.

© Juan Brenner - Image from the THIS UNIVERSE photography project

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Memory Cluster #4 (This Universe) -1. Gun Oil Canister (Late 1970s) -2. Red Metal Lighter with embedded north star (Early 1960s) -3. Test Tube with white powder and tagged with the word "Azufre" (Sulfur) (Late 1970s) -4. Unreadable receipt (Early 1990s) -5. Trömner reflex hammer (Late 1960s) My father (a doctor) was a hoarder, some of my first memories are hiding from my parents and going through endless drawers filled up with objects and “knick-knacks”. He died 15 years ago, soon after his passing I went to his house and filled up a big plastic box with as many objects as I could. I never opened that box until a few months ago, I am cataloging all those objects and photographing “clusters” that reconstruct my childhood and a very intense relationship with Angel; my dad.

© Juan Brenner - Image from the THIS UNIVERSE photography project

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Far Away Impossible Place #3, Medieval Castle (This Universe) My dad had a list of "Far Away Impossible Places" he thought he would never be able to visit. He would make small Chinese ink paintings copied from books and magazines, I'm in the process of tracking one of those paintings. This image was shot in the Scottish Highlands, one of those places my dad dreamt of visiting one day.

© Juan Brenner - Image from the THIS UNIVERSE photography project

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Memory Cluster #5 (This Universe) -1. Interchangeable glass syringe box(Late 1960s) -2. Turntable cartridge and needle (Early 1980s) -3. Medicine ointment tube (Early 1990s) -4. Circle photo holder with my picture at 5 years old mounting a wood donkey (Early 1980s) -5. My childhood's room key (Late 1970s) Riding that wooden donkey in front of Amatitlan Lake near Guatemala city is one of my most vivid childhood memories and one of the earliest, I clearly remember my dad taking me there in one of his visitation days (my parents were separated when that happened); I didn't know that picture existed. My father (a doctor) was a hoarder, some of my first memories are hiding from my parents and going through endless drawers filled up with objects and “knick-knacks”. He died 15 years ago, soon after his passing I went to his house and filled up a big plastic box with as many objects as I could. I never opened that box until a few months ago, I am cataloging all those objects and photographing “clusters” that reconstruct my childhood and a very intense relationship with Angel; my dad.