UNTITLED AND YET TO BE DETERMINED, 41.8949° N, 87.7654° W (AUSTIN)

It can be unsettling to imagine that you live a legacy that began before you were even a speck of dust in the universe. A legacy that begins with labor and ends in capital. But, it is important that you imagine it. Before you give credence to notions of helplessness, perpetual misgivings, and a lack of determination it is important that you understand this. Chicago as you see it today, America as you know it, was designed to be this way. Racism, and the systems that accompany it, are not a natural phenomenon- they are a design. Redlining, is one name for this design, Jim Crow laws are another, segregation is another.

I spent nearly 8 months in Austin, a west side neighborhood in Chicago. What I learned was this, it is very easy to sit from afar and look at a people and feel sympathy, maybe even empathy if you are good at it. It is much harder to sit with people and listen. It is much harder to understand that some life choices, are not really choices at all. It is even harder to not pass judgement, to not turn to stone, but to sit, to pay attention and to try to just be. I can tell you a lot of things that you most likely already know about Chicago. I can tell you about the black belt, and the history of two housing markets, one for blacks and one for whites, and if you were Latino and trying to buy a home, well your racial identity as it pertained to housing was in flux

and easy pawn for a political agenda. Just as it always has been, just as it is now. I can tell you about the 1919 race riots, and the 1949 riots and the 1966 riots. I can tell you about generally well-meaning white people who probably didn’t mind their black neighbors that much, but really minded what their white neighbors thought of them not really minding their black neighbors that much.

I can tell you that the west side has been a historically neglected section of Chicago. It was neglected when predominately working class Jewish people lived there and it has most certainly been neglected as its population became blacker and blacker and blacker. I can tell you that in 1899, Chicago annexed Austin because of neighborhood dispute over the construction of the Green Line. I can also tell you that the neighborhood of Austin wasn’t actually redlined itself, it was yellow- lined, but that didn’t stop it from experiencing similar affects.

I can tell you a lot of things. Many things that I have researched over time that allowed me to understand things a bit better. However, the main thing I would like you take away from this is that what happened in Chicago is a crime. It is a crime to ignore entire sections of your city. It is a crime in a country such as this to essentially legislate that entire groups of people should be under educated, underfunded, under fed, underwhelmed, over policed and under protected. I have learned that there are person to person crimes, such as robbing, and stealing, and taking a life, but there are larger crimes, systemic crimes, crimes that deserved to be tried, and accounted for. Crimes that in the long span of history, account for murder.

I learned that sometimes Austin is one of the loudest places you could be, and not for the reason that you’d think, but because people are always laughing. I learned not to drive up Austin Blvd past Chicago Ave, because that part of the road is basically one giant pothole. I learned what “booked” meant, who joe is, and when to correctly use the term baby in a sentence, to both shade and give warm affection. This project is a letter I still don’t have the words to write, but that I am thankful that I have been able to see. The story of Austin is not mine to tell, but it is a beautiful, interesting, and complicated place that I spent time in, and that I am fascinated by, hopeful for, and sensitive to.

As a woman, specifically a black woman, I have seen and experienced the breadth and depth of love that black women hold for their communities. It is a particular sensitivity that speaks to the desire to see your family flourish in the face of immense brutality and destruction. My experiences as a black woman has allowed me to internalize these sensitivities and express them through photography . For better or for worse god’s greatest gift to me was making me a black woman because it forced me into a position so unprotected, so marginalized, so specific, that I get to see the world for what the it is. I would not have been able to make this work if it wasn't for who I am. It has allowed me into places to experience the ultimate gift and tragedy of life. This work, in Austin, has given me a new appreciation and understanding of what it means to be a black woman, and to be alive.