Shadow of the Palm | Shortlisted Project - PHmuseum 2020 Photographers Grant - PHmuseum

Shadow of the Palm

{"id":36987,"grant_id":16,"user_id":32105,"grant_submission_status_id":4,"grant_result_type_id":null,"cover_block_id":406854,"story_id":36351,"place_id":null,"title":"Shadow of the Palm","excerpt":"","excerpt_raw":"","body":"<p>When I look in the mirror, I want to believe that what I am seeing is an extension of myself even though I know that it isn\u2019t. I\u2019m seeing a reflection (an illusion) of me and my world. I can never quite trust a mirror. \r<\/p><p> A picture creates a similar false sense of reality. The nature of photography tells us that what we are seeing is true, but it\u2019s not. It is a selective truth, or even a fiction.\r<\/p><p>One night in Jamaica, as my father and I drove through the mountains, he described a recurring dream: he is in his hometown, Saint Mary's, at a certain winding road that\u2019s shaped like an N, trying to catch the bus. He misses it and has to run up the mountain through the bush and slide down the other side to catch it. 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An obscured face, a wet flower, a dark shadow.<\/p>","body_raw":"When I look in the mirror, I want to believe that what I am seeing is an extension of myself even though I know that it isn\u2019t. I\u2019m seeing a reflection (an illusion) of me and my world. I can never quite trust a mirror. \r\n\r\n A picture creates a similar false sense of reality. The nature of photography tells us that what we are seeing is true, but it\u2019s not. It is a selective truth, or even a fiction.\r\n\r\nOne night in Jamaica, as my father and I drove through the mountains, he described a recurring dream: he is in his hometown, Saint Mary's, at a certain winding road that\u2019s shaped like an N, trying to catch the bus. He misses it and has to run up the mountain through the bush and slide down the other side to catch it. This is his only dream set in Jamaica. He told me as we approached the N. I listened while chewing on my sugar cane. It\u2019s strange hearing about a dreamscape while physically going through it\u2014like d\u00e9j\u00e0 vu. \r\n\r\nI feel this sense of familiarity driving through my father\u2019s dream. But what\u2019s more overwhelming is the sensation of jamais vu: foreignness in what should be known. The moon you see, the air you breathe, and the flowers you smell are all suddenly unfamiliar. You\u2019ve moved, traveled\u2014maybe even transcended\u2014although you don\u2019t know to where. You look in the mirror and see yourself, but can\u2019t be sure that it\u2019s the same reflection you saw yesterday.\r\n\r\nThis is why I photograph: to capture a trace of the unexplainable. My pictures are where dreams meet the physical world and earthly things take on higher meaning. I search for the uncanny. I uncover what is hidden. An obscured face, a wet flower, a dark 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