You Can't Go Home Again

This story is my effort to understand what it means to be Iranian in a time of intense anti-Muslim and anti-Iranian sentiment. I was born in Tehran in the midst of the Iran-Iraq war. Facing a failing economy and growing religious conservatism, my parents moved us across the world to Canada when I was a child. In some ways, it was like we never left: the US embassy hostage crisis and anti Muslim xenophobia dominated the headlines. We were labeled inherently violent, perpetually oppressed. Traumatic events in my former home and racist stereotypes in my current one made me ashamed of my Iranian identity. I returned to Iran in 2017 to piece together fragments of my past and to reconcile my present. This work is a partial memoir, detailing my personal journey back to Iran: what I found, what I lost, and what hopes I carry forward with me.

© Parisa Azadi - Image from the You Can't Go Home Again photography project
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SEPTEMBER 20, 2018 - Iranian Shi’ite men covered in mud gather around a bonfire to dry themselves during Ashura rituals in the city of Khorramabad, Iran. Ashura is a mourning ceremony commemorating the martyrdom of the third Imam of the Shi’ite Muslims, Hussain Ibn Ali, the grandson of Prophet Muhammad. On the day of Ashura in the city of Khorramabad, Shi'ite Muslim men gather to rub themselves in mud before chanting religious songs and flagellating themselves.

© Parisa Azadi - APRIL 22, 2019 - A view of an exterior wall of a house decorated with traditional painting on Hormuz Island, Iran.
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APRIL 22, 2019 - A view of an exterior wall of a house decorated with traditional painting on Hormuz Island, Iran.

© Parisa Azadi - Image from the You Can't Go Home Again photography project
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AUGUST 18, 2018 - An Iranian boy lays in a pool fed by an underground mineral spring called Cheshmeh Ali in the working class neighbourhood of Shahr-e-Ray on a hot Summer day in Tehran, Iran.

© Parisa Azadi - Image from the You Can't Go Home Again photography project
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SEPTEMBER 20, 2018 - Two Iranian men embrace each other in the early morning during Ashura rituals in the city of Khorramabad, Iran. Ashura is a mourning ceremony commemorating the martyrdom of the third Imam of the Shi’ite Muslims, Hussain Ibn Ali, the grandson of Prophet Muhammad. On the day of Ashura in the city of Khorramabad, Shi'ite Muslim men gather to rub themselves in mud before chanting religious songs and flagellating themselves.

© Parisa Azadi - Image from the You Can't Go Home Again photography project
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AUGUST 10, 2018 - An Iranian actor dressed in historical costume poses for a portrait in a makeshift changing room in the village of Alamut before performing Tazieh, a folk religious theatre, commemorating the martyrdom of the third Imam of the Shi’ite Muslims, Hussain Ibn Ali, the grandson of Prophet Muhammad.

© Parisa Azadi - Image from the You Can't Go Home Again photography project
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SEPTEMBER 1, 2018 - Farahnaz Beyzavi finishes drinking the juice of a watermelon after shaving the leftover pieces with a spoon in her family’s vacation home in the village of Chenar, Iran.

© Parisa Azadi - NOVEMBER 1, 2018 - Kimia Sorkhehmiri takes a break during a horse riding lesson in Ilam, Iran.
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NOVEMBER 1, 2018 - Kimia Sorkhehmiri takes a break during a horse riding lesson in Ilam, Iran.

© Parisa Azadi - JUNE 4, 2019 - Hamed Jaberha blows smoke into the air during a road trip with his friends in Barzok, Iran.
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JUNE 4, 2019 - Hamed Jaberha blows smoke into the air during a road trip with his friends in Barzok, Iran.

© Parisa Azadi - Image from the You Can't Go Home Again photography project
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FEBRUARY 2, 2018 - Reyhaneh Ansari stands in her friends room after a sleepover the night before in the upper class neighbourhood of Shahrak-e-Gharb in Tehran, Iran. Many young Iranians are trying to pursue a more modern life despite the cultural and social restrictions they face every day. Lack of opportunity and high unemployment rate is pushing many of them to seek a better life abroad

© Parisa Azadi - Image from the You Can't Go Home Again photography project
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NOVEMBER 4, 2018 - Habibollah Mohammadi holds on tight to his umbrella as gust of wind and rain blows in the city of Ilam, Iran.

© Parisa Azadi - Image from the You Can't Go Home Again photography project
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FEBRUARY 7, 2018 - Iranian men stand along a canal running through a farmland in the district of Haji Abad on the outskirts of Borujerd, Iran.

© Parisa Azadi - Image from the You Can't Go Home Again photography project
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FEBRUARY 15, 2018 - A view of the front gate of an empty villa in the village of Kilan, Iran. Due to high inflation and devaluation of the local currency the Rial, many Iranians are increasingly investing in the property market across the country.

© Parisa Azadi - JULY 26, 2018 - A cow is seen grazing in the meadow in Chalus, Iran.
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JULY 26, 2018 - A cow is seen grazing in the meadow in Chalus, Iran.

© Parisa Azadi - OCTOBER 13, 2017 - Negar and her friend Hussain embrace each other on the streets of Tehran, Iran.
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OCTOBER 13, 2017 - Negar and her friend Hussain embrace each other on the streets of Tehran, Iran.

© Parisa Azadi - AUGUST 4, 2018 - Milad Ebrahimi stands for a portrait during his cousin’s engagement party in the village of Alamut, Iran.
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AUGUST 4, 2018 - Milad Ebrahimi stands for a portrait during his cousin’s engagement party in the village of Alamut, Iran.

© Parisa Azadi - SEPTEMBER 1, 2018 - A plastic tablecloth hangs on a clothesline as it dries in the sun in village of Chenar, Iran.
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SEPTEMBER 1, 2018 - A plastic tablecloth hangs on a clothesline as it dries in the sun in village of Chenar, Iran.

© Parisa Azadi - JULY 26, 2018 - An Iraqi tourist swims in the Caspian Sea in Chalus, Iran.
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JULY 26, 2018 - An Iraqi tourist swims in the Caspian Sea in Chalus, Iran.

© Parisa Azadi - Image from the You Can't Go Home Again photography project
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NOVEMBER 6, 2018 - A view of the city of Ilam, the third largest Kurdish city in Iran. The city of Ilam suffered heavily from the devastating eight year war with Iraq. Today, Ilam remains economically underdeveloped with one of the highest unemployment rates in the country.

© Parisa Azadi - JULY 24, 2018 - Children play in the river along Chalus road on a hot summer day in Mazandaran Province, Iran.
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JULY 24, 2018 - Children play in the river along Chalus road on a hot summer day in Mazandaran Province, Iran.

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