NOSTALGIC FEELING CALLED MUM

I moved away from home to a different country 2 years ago and we started growing apart. The mum that I knew and our family past was becoming estranged. Now, I’m being shaped by a different culture and different people. Everytime I come back home, I see my past life (with my mum being a key figure in it) as a foreigner. I do not feel like a part of that world anymore, but rather as an observer.

When she came to visit me this year for the first time, two worlds collided. It became this kind of nostalgic dream that we shared. It felt like everything was surrounded by an invisible vail and time went backwards. It was just two of us. We suddenly aligned our ages. My mum was becoming me and I was becoming her. We were floating in our memories and putting on each other’s masks in attempt to see the world with each others’ eyes.

I wanted to study my mum, to find out who that new person is in her that I see. At the same time I needed the warmth that was present in our relationship when I was a kid and was hopelessly looking for it.