When I prepared my car for the 4,000 kilometer road trip to Bloomfield, Far North Queensland, I did not load up on pregnancy tests, in fact I bought enough tampons to last me two months. I was leaving Melbourne to travel to a remote rainforest in the tropics of Queensland to work on a documentary story about a vanilla bean farmer. I love driving and thought a solo adventure would be therapeutic seeing as we had been in lockdown for over 100 days. My partner and I had casually been trying for a baby, but when I started to feel sick on my drive my first thought was maybe I had a cold or even covid. Pregnancy was maybe my last guess. Pulling into a gas station after a 10 hour drive, I saw they were selling pregnancy tests and I decided to buy a pack and peed on a stick in the gas station bathroom. Positive. Fucking positive. The rest of the drive was very emotional, crying out of happiness, then crying out of fear. Face-timing my partner, face-timing my entire family. I felt like I was drowning in feelings. I cherish those long drives alone now. It might have been the last time I was truly on my own.